Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Greatest Baseball Preview in America: Cleveland Indians

THE CLEVELAND INDIANS


Pitching: At the age of 25, C.C. Sabathia enjoyed his finest season as a professional last year, striking out 172 and posted a 139 ERA+. It's too bad he's an oblique strain waiting to happen. Just watch, when his fat ass rolls off the mound to field a bunt he'll do something to land himself on the DL. Somehow, Sabathia is listed at 6'5", 250 lbs. If he's only 250 then I'm the idiot that paid $500,000 for Anna Nicole Smith's diaries. The remainder of the rotation is pretty solid with 24-year-old Jeremy Sowers holding down the fifth spot in the rotation. Sowers pitched well in 88 innings last year starting 14 games with 2 complete game shutouts but only striking out 35. Bullpen: It will cost them more wins than the average bullpen this season, I guarantee it.

Hitting: Very, very good - Travis Hafner, Grady Sizemore, and Victor Martinez. Pound for pound, Hafner is the most dangerous hitter in the AL right now and Sizemore is a lock for 30-30 and the Derek Jeter of the Midwest. Potential superstar third baseman Andy Marte will be just 23-years-old this season and was the reason they could trade Kevin Kouzmanoff, a guy that hit .389 in Double A last year, to San Diego for Josh Barfield. AND they have Trot Nixon. What's not to like? Quick note on Josh Barfield: his father, Jesse, was in the original RBI baseball which begs the question how many players featured in RBI baseball have offspring who now play in the majors? I came up with Cecil Fielder then got distracted when I google imaged him. Baseball has never seen a bigger ass. One year, Alam Trammell got caught in it's orbit and had to spend 60 days on the DL.

Miscellaneous: I'm tired of the Big Papi-Shrek comparisons. He looks nothing like Shrek and frankly I think it's a bit of a subconsciously racist association. Who really does look like Shrek is Travis Hafner. Look at the facial similarities, they're remarkable. Plus he has the ogrish nickname of "Pronk."

Indians-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Over/under on number of all-you-can-eat enchilada places C.C. Sabathia eats out of business: seven and a half.

Previous Previews

AMERICAN LEAGUE

AL Central
Kansas City Royals

AL West
Oakland Athletics
Los Angeles Angels
Texas Rangers
Seattle Mariners

NATIONAL LEAGUE

NL East
New York Mets
Philadelphia Phillies
Atlanta Braves
Florida Marlins
Washington

Nationals
NL Central
St. Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Cincinnati Reds
Milwaukee Brewers
Pittsburgh Pirates
Chicago Cubs

NL West
San Diego Padres
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks

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