Sorry for the delay, folks. What with bikini season starting up in the Northern hemisphere, my bosses at Bikini Inspector HQ sent me down to Miami for the weekend and the wireless in the hotel didn't work.
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
Pitching: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Giants won't pay that dearly for the Barry Zito signing this season. He's a durable, above average, pitcher with great hair and a burgeoning career as a tour de force actor/musician/weirdo. But when the Giants want that $17 million a year to spend on keeping guys like Matt Cain, Noah Lowry, and Tim Linecum a few years down the line, Brian Sabean will have to start hawking Barry Zito Jazz Ensemble CD's out of the back his van in front of the ballpark. What I like about the Giants pitching is that Matt Morris, at 32, is their oldest starter. Cain and Lincecum are 22, Lowry is 26, and Zito is 29. I don't think Lincecum begins the season in the rotation and that's not a bad thing unless Russ Ortiz is the one pitching every fifth day. Bullpen: looks solid with rookie closer Brian Wilson and the progressively uglier Armando Benitez supposedly back to form.
Hitting: Even disregarding the albatross in left field, San Francisco has a frighteningly old lineup with no regulars under the age of 31. They're only non-Barry players with an above average career OPS+ are Rich Aurilia, Ray Durham, and Randy Winn (106, 106, 101) and Aurilia and Winn play positions (1B and RF) where you normally see higher production. Vomit-inducing.
Miscellaneous: A tale of two Barries. Reportedly Zito asked for, and received, the locker directly next to Bonds, an honor that lead Mark Sweeney to be implicated in Bonds' positive test for amphetamines this past season. I know Zito is chill and all, but this is just foolish. I'm not sure how many times Bonds can hear Zito's John Mayer CD before he flips his surfer boy head off like a Pez dispenser. Seriously, Zito, Bonds is high strung.
Giants-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: I kinda like the idea of setting a line for the Zito head = Pez dispenser thing, but I'm going to go with May 12th as the date Barry Bonds destroys Omar Vizquel's salsa-blaring boombox and Vizquel's cousins subsequently knife him in the parking lot.
Previous teams
NL West
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
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