THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
Pitching: Hands down best pitching in the NL East. The rotation includes ace-in-waiting Cole Hamels, ace-in-progress Brett Myers, Adam "somehow I was traded for Chris Young and Adrian Gonzalez" Eaton, Freddy "got fingered" Garcia, and ageless wonderboy Jamie Moyer with Jon Lieber, who baseball reference says is most similar to Kevin Tapani through age 36, as their sixth starter and prime tradebait for bullpen help. That's an all-around above average rotation with the potential for Hamels, with his fantastic K-rate and low workload last year, to go from a fantasy dork's wet dream to Phillies' fans' dreamboat starter. Bullpen: Philadelphia's bullpen is an if-then statement. IF Tom Gordon can stay healthy THEN they will be passable. But that's a big "IF" and an even bigger "THEN." Gordon will be 39 this season after a season in which he was either missing time or simply ineffective due to a chronic right shoulder strain. And he's still not 100%. To put a positive spin on things the six-fingered Antonio Alfonseca has been spotting in a Phillies uniform this spring.
Hitting: With Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and Jimmy Rollins you can almost excuse the rest of the lineup. And raise your hand if your fantasy team depends on Pat Burrell getting back to his 40 homerun ways this season. Just me? Dammit. Anyway, neck and neck for the best NL offense with the NY Mets.
Miscellaneous: As I write this I'm watching the Florida-Purdue second round NCAA game. Joakim Noah is the tallest woman in the world and she should be checked for human growth hormone.
Phillies-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Over/under on number of Phillies games my friend Pax buys tickets for but never uses because he can't get anyone to go with him: the entire Dodgers-Phillies series. Simply put nobody wants to travel all the way to Philadelphia just to get to the game in the third inning and leave by the seventh. This Dodger-fan specific behavior is so ingrained in Pax's baseball viewing habits that it's a Pavlovian response.
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NL East
Atlanta Braves
Florida Marlins
Washington Nationals
NL Central
St. Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Cincinnati Reds
Milwaukee Brewers
Pittsburgh Pirates
Chicago Cubs
NL West
San Diego Padres
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
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