O Kobe! My Kobe! Our Fearful Trip is Done!

So Kobe Bryant is requesting a trade and Alex Rodriguez has been all but caught being unfaithful. This is like bizarro-2004 sports news. All this does is further prove that Kobe and ARod are kindred, uber-talented, douchebag spirits.

Ian, what make you of Kobe's trade demand? I really don't think he wants to leave the Lakers and this is something he won't realize until February of next year when he's playing for a 12-win Charlotte team. And isn't it about damn time we stop allowing superstars to exert such control over franchises? Why can't they be more like the polite Mr. Kevin Garnett who toils silently for a team that is both unable and unwilling to add the right players to win him a championship?


I think Kobe is right in his demands. I mean, at this point, shouldn't they have acquired a 7 foot, 300 pound hall of fame center to help win Kobe some championships? Oh, wait, Kobe ran the best teammate of his career out of LA.

And now he's angry at Lakers brass for not getting him help? When he chased away the best center of this generation? Please.

Now, Kobe Bryant is a magnificent player. For several years I've been saying he's the best player in the league and I still believe this. But the audacity he has to sign a humongous contract (read: tie up a large sum of money), obviously demand Shaquille O'Neal to be traded so Kobe could be The Man, and then complain to the front office that they don't get help for him (What is Lamar Odom, chopped liver?) is fundamentally absurd.

My prediction: Kobe isn't going ANYwhere. LA is the spot for the Kobe Bryant's of the world, not to mention the Lakers needs the Kobe Bryant's of the world. Jack Nicholson pays way too much money to watch 75 cents on the dollar. If, however, we want to entertain his demand, where would he go?

Well, the Western Conference is out. A vengeful Kobe Bryant is not someone I'd want to play 4 times in a regular season than in a possible playoff series.

Further eliminations:
Miami (Shaq)
Cleveland (Needs to be the unequivocal man)
Detroit (Not disrupting that squad)
Charlotte (Not nearly enough to give to LA. Okafor and capspace is not nearly enough to fill that void.)
Indiana (NOTHING to offer after Jermaine O'Neal, not even a pick.)
Orlando (NOTHING to offer besides Dwight Howard, not even a pick, and there's no way they move Howard anyway.)
Toronto (Great fit for Kobe if Toronto can keep Bosh, but Ford and Bargnani not enough to get Bryant to Canada.)

I think everyone else has a chance to sign him. Possible deals, alphabetical order:
Atlanta - Joe Johnson, Marvin Williams, #3 pick (LA backs out, needs future 1st rounder)
Boston - Paul Pierce, Gerald Green, #5 pick (Boston backs out, offers Delonte West or Kendrick Perkins instead of Green. La Backs out.)
Chicago - Ben Gordon, Loul Deng, #9 pick (LA backs out, asks for Hinrich in addition)
Milwaukee - Redd, Bogut, Villanueva, #6 pick (this could happen)
New Jersey - Vince Carter, Josh Boone, #17 pick (Vince sells the tickets, at least. Could happen)
New York - Marbury, David Lee, Spike Lee (LA backs out, Marbury is a cancer)
Philly - Iguodala, Dalembert, #12 pick (LA backs out, because they'd be trading Kobe Bryant for guys name Iguodala and Dalembert.)
Washington - Arenas, the #16, next year's first rounder (Might do it.)

That leaves us with Milwaukee, New Jersey, and Washington. Milwaukee and New Jersey are wastelands that Kobe wants not part of. Washington is tempting for him. He has help in Jamison and Butler, there's a lot of marketing possibilities in the capital, not to mention his extramarital affairs fit right in with Congress.

However, Kobe's not going anywhere. And yes, I just realize I wasted 15 minutes of my life going over the possibilities of the impossible. Whatever.

Jerry Sloan and All That Jazz

The Utah Jazz are one win away from making the Western Conference Finals. Read that again.

This team was not supposed to compete this year. Even beyond the dominant troika of San Antonio, Dallas, and Phoenix, there were teams who should have had more success than Utah. Kobe's Lakers were supposed to take the next step after blowing a 3-1 lead to the Suns in last year's playoffs. The Clippers were looking to build onto their first playoff appearance in 340 years. The Warriors' new head coach was supposed to take a run and gun team up the charts of the Western Conference. The Rockets would finally have their two uberstars healthy and ready to make a run at the championship trophy. The Nuggets frontline was deep, talented, and the roster was bolstered with the addition of Allen Iverson. These were the teams that were supposed to compete.

But the Utah Jazz??? In a year where their previous best player, Andrei Kirilenko, was a complete shell of his previous self? Did anyone who's not a Mormon see this coming?

The lesson: Once again, we are reminded that there is indeed an important component to winning beyond the players on the court. A coach is a crucial element to all teams in the three major sports. Jerry Sloan is proof.

Jerry Sloan constantly has the Jazz overachieving. Sure, maybe he never won the championship with two of the greatest 50 players of all time on his team, but let's be fair. His team peaked in the era of Jordan, Pippen, and Hakeem. No coach could have won those series, with the possible exception of Bill Belichick.

Yet, I feel as if Sloan slips under the radar when we discuss great coaches. We know about the active all time greats: Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, Don Nelson, Doc Rivers. But what about Sloan? Isn't the true measure of a coach how well he can get his players to play. How often he can get his roster to overachieve? How can he get the very most out of a squad of guys who, on some teams, look like they're just showing up to collect their paycheck and eyeball the dance team? Sloan consistently gets his team to play their best - year in and year out.

So, Saj, I want your thoughts on this. Also, are there any other coaches in the three major sports that you feel are overlooked by the average sports fan?


There's that football coach guy who nobody really talks about. Bill Belichick. Kidding. It's tough to say what individual coaches are overlooked but I will say that basketball coaches tend to be underrated and baseball managers tend to be overrated. No explanation because it's late and Robert Horry just body-checked Steve Nash across the Mexican border. Note: Don't get roped into a Western Conference playoff series when you're tired. You're just going to have nightmares about Gregg Popovich's hair. Hey Gregg, Malcolm McDowell called...