Football Friday: Week 8

Through seven weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 16-12.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 13-15........... 3 .............2-2

Still within striking distance...

Your games:

Browns at Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Lions at Bears (Sunday, 1:00)
Eagles at Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Packers at Broncos (Monday, 8:30)


If by "within striking distance," you meant "false hope," then you'd be correct.

Yours:

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday, 1:00)
New York Giants at London Dolphins (Sunday, 6:00 GMT)
New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers (Sunday, 4:15)


Buffalo Bills at New York Jets

I just don't think I can convince myself to take Chad Penningt0n on the road. Or at home. Even against the Bills. Whatever happens in this game it won't change the fact that 'Mangenius' is getting trashed in the locker room. In general I wish Mangini only success. But not as long as he's the Jets coach. I want to see him mangle the season, lose his job, get hired by the Falcons, and lead them to a 2009 Superbowl win over Herm Edwards' Kansas City Chiefs. If that happens, Jets' fan and roommate Rob would commit suicide. Between the Jets continued decline into suckitude and the pitching-poor Mets having to choose between signing Kyle Lohse and Carlos Silva this offseason I think the borough of Queens is going to implode. By the way, even money says Joel Pineiro or Jeff Weaver is starting the Mets' third game of the season. BILLS

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I never thought I'd say this, but the injury and subsequent loss of David Garrard will be the difference in a professional football game. Weird, right? And as if we needed anymore evidence of how much every non-Patriots, non-Colts team in the NFL sucks the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who were 4-12 last year, will win the NFC South with Earnest Graham as their starting tailback. Even weirder. BUCCANEERS

New York Giants at London Dolphins

Really? What can I really say about a game where Cleo Lemon has to face the best pass-rush in football? I mean, I could speculate on when exactly Osi Umenyiora (sp?) and Antonio Pierce snap Lemon's neck like a chicken bone but I'm not one for speculating. Some points: 1) Nice touch with the Greenwich Mean Time. And 2) Did you hear about the giant statue of Jason Taylor in Trafalgar Square? The ghost of Horatio Nelson must be really, really pissed off. I think the Giants will win this game handily, but the real winner is the people of London. I mean, even a 26-foot tall animatronic Jason Taylor must be damn cute. GIANTS

New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers

If Drew Brees doesn't throw the ball to Marques Colston I will be very upset. And you won't like when I'm upset. SAINTS


Cleveland @ St. Louis: The Rams and Dolphins are racing to the #1 pick, though since I don't follow amateur sports too closely, I don't know who that's going to be. The possible returns of Stephen Jackson and Marc Bulger could ruin top-pick potential for St. Louis. I'm not sure homefield will mean much for the rest of the year for the Rams, and at some point, when the fans are openly rooting against them, homefield could have a negative impact. The Browns are not that good... but they're better than the worst. Pick: Cleveland

Detroit @ Chicago: Pass-based dome team in a cold, windy city. Hmmmm... Pick: Chicago

Philadelphia @ Minnesota: I'm starting to realize you gave me the most boring games possible. Yikes. What does someone say about Eagles-Vikings? They are too utterly mediocre teams with no upside or downside. They're locks to be betweeen 6 and 8 wins. So I'll take the home team. Pick: Minnesota

Green Bay @ Denver: This Monday Night Football game will be on at the same time as a potential Game 5 of the World Series. It's going to be a sad, sad Tuesday morning in Colorado. Pick: Green Bay