Before I get to my preview of the absolutely terrible Pittsburgh Pirates, I just want to thank Boston Dirt Dogs for posting a slightly homoerotic picture of my friends and I at a baseball game three years ago. The response of the masses has ranged from "wow, that's gay" to "so that was before you joined a gym, right?"
THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pitching: Pretty horrible. They have a quartet of young guys (Zack Duke, Paul Maholm, Ian Snell, Tom Gorzelanny) set for the rotation, three of which (Duke, Maholm, Snell) have at least one full year of service time. Having young pitching is a good thing when you have young talented pitching and while Duke, Maholm, and Snell have shown flashes of quality pitching (Snell with a GREAT K-rate and Duke with a fantastic name) I hesitate to say that this is the year any of them really figure it out. After those four the Pirates can pick between Tony Armas and Shawn Chacon which is like choosing to mix either arsenic or cyanide into your lemonade. Bullpen: they traded their only asset, Mike Gonzalez, for Adam LaRoche. So we'll probably see Kevin Gryboski or John Wasdin in the later innings of a baseball game.
Hitting: Knock knock? Who's there? A superstar hitter who is underpaid and happy about it. A superstar hitter who is underpaid and happy about it who? Jason Bay. Following the 2005 season, Bay signed a four-year, $18.25 million back-loaded contract and was so happy he shed tears over it. And that's refreshing. What's not refreshing is how fast he's going to bolt to the Yankees when his contract is up in 2009. As for Bay's help in the lineup, it's sparse at best. I'm sold on LaRoche, who hit 32 homers last year in Atlanta, but I am not about to buy any stock in last year's batting champion, Freddy Sanchez. Freddy defies what I like to call common sense. Last year he was a 28-year old infielder who played three different positions, hit .344 with a strikingly low (for his BA) OBP of .378, showed no speed on the basepaths, and had only six homeruns. Granted he's a high contact player (only struck out 52 times) so he won't be that prone to slumps but his low homerun total for a high contact player means he's more often at the whim of lady luck on the balls he puts in play. The only time such a shallow disparity between BA and OBP should be accepted is if the player's name is Vladimir Guerrero. And, hell, even Bill Mueller won a batting title.
Miscellaneous: I'm sick of talking about the Pirates, so I'll use this opportunity to let everyone know that Vladimir Guerrero's middle name is "Alvino."
Pirate-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Odds of ESPN running a pun-tastic "Duke's of Hazzard" headline if Zach Duke turns in a shutout on a slow news night- EVEN MONEY.
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Chicago Cubs
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San Diego Padres
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Wednesday, March 07, 2007
The Greatest Baseball Preview in America: Chicago Cubs
Quick Padres thought: Wells and Maddux are friends? That's like the jerk captain of the wrestling team being friends with the captain of the chess team. Their age concerns me, even if thus far they seem to defy it. I picked them to win the division last year, but I'm more hesitant this season.
Chicago Cubs
Pitching: Watch out for the Cubbies. If they're in contention, I place them in the lead for the top starter come the trade deadline. And since by the end of June all but three teams will be in contention in the National League, they will make that move. With Lou Piniella in charge of a team that is actually willing to spend money - and did - this team can contend right away in a wide-open division. Their chance for success, however, depends on signing a #2 starter (assuming Mark Prior gets injured, and he will). Ted Lilly is not good enough to be a #2, nor is Rich Hill good enough for #3. Their depth isn't terrible with Wade Miller as an extra starter, but you can almost count on an injury between these six starters.
Their bullpen will have the pleasure of having one of baseball top 5 closers, they're just going to have to wait a few months before they try Kerry Wood out there. This moves the serviceable Ryan Dempster to the 8th inning, strengthening the back of their bullpen. Dempster will begin the year as their closer, but will hand the job off to Wood, as well as be available to close when Wood pitches too often. After these two, however, the bullpen is the team's biggest weakness.
Hitting: This offense is going to be scary good when Alex Rodriguez is playing short stop for them next year. Until then, they'll just have to settle for having, along with the New York Mets, the scariest middle of the order in the National league. Do you think opposing pitchers want to face Soriano, Lee, and Ramirez in an inning? (I hope they won't be silly and bat Soriano's 40 hr potential at leadoff.) They'd rather be accused of giving a wet willy to teammate Daryle Ward. Jacque Jones is no slouch with 27 roundtrippers out of the 6 hole. DeRosa and Barret are .300 hitters at the worst offensive positions in baseball (second base and catcher), while Matt Murton and Cesar Izturiz are good, young defensive players, with Murton having some upside offensively. Frankly, an all around solid team.
Miscellaneous: And don't underestimate Lou Piniella. His teams have the penchant for overachieving. Tampa Bay made some good runs before running out of gas in the uber-competitive (read: expensive) American League East. Seattle set the record for most games won in a season. Chicago has the talent, the money, and the division to be a competitor. Worst-to-First is NOT out of the question.
Cub-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Number of Illinois goats slaughtered to break the Curse of the Billy Goat: 1908
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NL West
San Diego Padres
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
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Chicago Cubs
Pitching: Watch out for the Cubbies. If they're in contention, I place them in the lead for the top starter come the trade deadline. And since by the end of June all but three teams will be in contention in the National League, they will make that move. With Lou Piniella in charge of a team that is actually willing to spend money - and did - this team can contend right away in a wide-open division. Their chance for success, however, depends on signing a #2 starter (assuming Mark Prior gets injured, and he will). Ted Lilly is not good enough to be a #2, nor is Rich Hill good enough for #3. Their depth isn't terrible with Wade Miller as an extra starter, but you can almost count on an injury between these six starters.
Their bullpen will have the pleasure of having one of baseball top 5 closers, they're just going to have to wait a few months before they try Kerry Wood out there. This moves the serviceable Ryan Dempster to the 8th inning, strengthening the back of their bullpen. Dempster will begin the year as their closer, but will hand the job off to Wood, as well as be available to close when Wood pitches too often. After these two, however, the bullpen is the team's biggest weakness.
Hitting: This offense is going to be scary good when Alex Rodriguez is playing short stop for them next year. Until then, they'll just have to settle for having, along with the New York Mets, the scariest middle of the order in the National league. Do you think opposing pitchers want to face Soriano, Lee, and Ramirez in an inning? (I hope they won't be silly and bat Soriano's 40 hr potential at leadoff.) They'd rather be accused of giving a wet willy to teammate Daryle Ward. Jacque Jones is no slouch with 27 roundtrippers out of the 6 hole. DeRosa and Barret are .300 hitters at the worst offensive positions in baseball (second base and catcher), while Matt Murton and Cesar Izturiz are good, young defensive players, with Murton having some upside offensively. Frankly, an all around solid team.
Miscellaneous: And don't underestimate Lou Piniella. His teams have the penchant for overachieving. Tampa Bay made some good runs before running out of gas in the uber-competitive (read: expensive) American League East. Seattle set the record for most games won in a season. Chicago has the talent, the money, and the division to be a competitor. Worst-to-First is NOT out of the question.
Cub-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Number of Illinois goats slaughtered to break the Curse of the Billy Goat: 1908
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NL West
San Diego Padres
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
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Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The Greatest Baseball Preview in America: San Diego Padres
A semi-irate Dodger fan (yes they do exist) requested that I add the following regarding the Dodgers: Russ Martin, Jonathan Broxton, Joe Beimel. I'll give you Martin and Broxton, but Beimel, a 30 year old, below average reliever with a 1.2 K/BB? I realize the Dodgers are desperate after the Juan Pierre and Luis Gonzalez signings, but I didn't think the desperation had affected their fans in such a way.
THE SAN DIEGO PADRES
Pitching: I suppose its a sign of a smart front office when they put together such a capable pitching staff in as cavernous a park as Petco in as pitcher friendly (in spite of Coors) a division as the National League West. The credit here goes to San Diego GM Kevin Towers, and although I have never seen a picture of Kevin Towers I am going to assume he looks like a more handsome version of Kevin Kennedy. Rule of thumb: mustachioed men always put together the best pitching staffs. Evidence: Jake Peavy, Chris Young, Greg Maddux, David Wells, and Clay Hensley are set to be the top five in the rotation. Peavy might be the most talented pitcher in the National League (he's like a Josh Beckett who knows how to pitch) and he'll be just 26 at the end of May, Young and Hensley are two young guys with low career workloads entering their prime pitching years (28 and 27 years old respectively), Maddux upon his arrival in LA halfway through the season sported an ERA+ of 139, and Wells will post his par for the course ungodly low walk rate if he can keep his fat ass healthy. And speaking of low walk rates, Hensley has the highest BB/9 of any of them at 3.6. All of this against anemic NL West lineups. Bullpen: Trevor Hoffman, Scott Linebrink, and my personal hero Cla Meredith are as impressive as it gets out there.
Hitting: In keeping with the above-mentioned anemic NL West lineups, San Diego is no exception. When you spend the offseason doubling your number of Gileses (Gilii?) that can't hit, prospects don't improve a great deal. Apparently mustachioed General Managers sometimes go brain dead and think its 2003 when both the Gilii were way above average. To be fair, Marcus will be 29 this season so he could improve from his poor 2006, but Brian is on the wrong side of 35 with not a Rejuvenation Center in sight. But the Padres do have a decent young bat in rookie Kevin Kouzmanoff and a potential superstar in 25-year old Adrian Gonzalez. It's too bad that Termel Sledge maybe leading off for them.
Miscellaneous: Apparently David Wells and Greg Maddux are fast friends. If what I gather from this article is true, at some point this season while David Wells is reading John Rawls in his smoking jacket, Greg Maddux with give him a hot foot and run away giggling.
Ridiculous Padre-related Proposition Bet: The over/under on how many visiting sportswriters do a double-take when they first realize that Khalil Greene isn't black: 47.
Previous Previews
NL West
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
THE SAN DIEGO PADRES
Pitching: I suppose its a sign of a smart front office when they put together such a capable pitching staff in as cavernous a park as Petco in as pitcher friendly (in spite of Coors) a division as the National League West. The credit here goes to San Diego GM Kevin Towers, and although I have never seen a picture of Kevin Towers I am going to assume he looks like a more handsome version of Kevin Kennedy. Rule of thumb: mustachioed men always put together the best pitching staffs. Evidence: Jake Peavy, Chris Young, Greg Maddux, David Wells, and Clay Hensley are set to be the top five in the rotation. Peavy might be the most talented pitcher in the National League (he's like a Josh Beckett who knows how to pitch) and he'll be just 26 at the end of May, Young and Hensley are two young guys with low career workloads entering their prime pitching years (28 and 27 years old respectively), Maddux upon his arrival in LA halfway through the season sported an ERA+ of 139, and Wells will post his par for the course ungodly low walk rate if he can keep his fat ass healthy. And speaking of low walk rates, Hensley has the highest BB/9 of any of them at 3.6. All of this against anemic NL West lineups. Bullpen: Trevor Hoffman, Scott Linebrink, and my personal hero Cla Meredith are as impressive as it gets out there.
Hitting: In keeping with the above-mentioned anemic NL West lineups, San Diego is no exception. When you spend the offseason doubling your number of Gileses (Gilii?) that can't hit, prospects don't improve a great deal. Apparently mustachioed General Managers sometimes go brain dead and think its 2003 when both the Gilii were way above average. To be fair, Marcus will be 29 this season so he could improve from his poor 2006, but Brian is on the wrong side of 35 with not a Rejuvenation Center in sight. But the Padres do have a decent young bat in rookie Kevin Kouzmanoff and a potential superstar in 25-year old Adrian Gonzalez. It's too bad that Termel Sledge maybe leading off for them.
Miscellaneous: Apparently David Wells and Greg Maddux are fast friends. If what I gather from this article is true, at some point this season while David Wells is reading John Rawls in his smoking jacket, Greg Maddux with give him a hot foot and run away giggling.
Ridiculous Padre-related Proposition Bet: The over/under on how many visiting sportswriters do a double-take when they first realize that Khalil Greene isn't black: 47.
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NL West
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
Monday, March 05, 2007
The Greatest Baseball Preview in America: Los Angeles Dodgers
Quick Giants thought: Has there ever, and I mean EVER, been an athlete with a larger deviation in fan adoration when contrasting home and away games? There is exactly one ballpark that will cheer for Barry Bonds in this, the season he catches Aaron, and that ballpark will love him like a son. All other stadiums will boo him like he just backed over their invalid grandmother. What a guy. I really, really, really hopes he breaks it on the road. In fact, after a successful Sox season, an unsuccessful Yankees season, and Bonds not breaking the record at all, that's what I want most for this upcoming season. Him to break it on the road.
Los Angeles Dodgers
Pitching: The Jason Schmidt signing did more than just give them an ace, though that shouldn't be understated. What it also allowed was every pitcher on that staff to be bumped a down a spot, giving them nice depth for their rotation. Derek Lowe and Brad Penny are both 2 starters, but neither was an ace. Now you have two 2 starters holding down the 2 and 3, with the more than serviceable Randy Wolf at the 4. And assuming young Chad Billingsly improves, he could be bumping one or two of those guys down even more.
Miscellaneous: Grady Little.
Dodger-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Line on when Nomar first lands on the disabled list: April 28.
Previous Previews
NL West
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
Los Angeles Dodgers
Pitching: The Jason Schmidt signing did more than just give them an ace, though that shouldn't be understated. What it also allowed was every pitcher on that staff to be bumped a down a spot, giving them nice depth for their rotation. Derek Lowe and Brad Penny are both 2 starters, but neither was an ace. Now you have two 2 starters holding down the 2 and 3, with the more than serviceable Randy Wolf at the 4. And assuming young Chad Billingsly improves, he could be bumping one or two of those guys down even more.
Their bullpen is not a strength. Takashi Saito nicely grew into the closers role, and you could probably put him in the top half of stoppers in the league. After that, however, the Dodgers have issues. They either have has-beens or haven't-done-yets. Fortunately, they have five, count 'em five starters that could go 8 innings deep on any given start. This is a team that can and will need to lead the league in quality starts to win the West.
Hitting: A tepid hitting squad. Pierre, Furcal, Nomar, and Kent as a top 4 look a lot better then they are. Andre Either probably takes another step forward, but I'm not nearly as confident in their left field or 3rd base (Is that a Fernando Tatis sighting?!). I do expect Mike Lieberthal to see some time behind the dish, as he could handle a savvy pitching staff very nicely.
Miscellaneous: Grady Little.
Dodger-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: Line on when Nomar first lands on the disabled list: April 28.
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NL West
San Francisco Giants
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
Sunday, March 04, 2007
The Greatest Baseball Preview in America: San Francisco Giants
Sorry for the delay, folks. What with bikini season starting up in the Northern hemisphere, my bosses at Bikini Inspector HQ sent me down to Miami for the weekend and the wireless in the hotel didn't work.
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
Pitching: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Giants won't pay that dearly for the Barry Zito signing this season. He's a durable, above average, pitcher with great hair and a burgeoning career as a tour de force actor/musician/weirdo. But when the Giants want that $17 million a year to spend on keeping guys like Matt Cain, Noah Lowry, and Tim Linecum a few years down the line, Brian Sabean will have to start hawking Barry Zito Jazz Ensemble CD's out of the back his van in front of the ballpark. What I like about the Giants pitching is that Matt Morris, at 32, is their oldest starter. Cain and Lincecum are 22, Lowry is 26, and Zito is 29. I don't think Lincecum begins the season in the rotation and that's not a bad thing unless Russ Ortiz is the one pitching every fifth day. Bullpen: looks solid with rookie closer Brian Wilson and the progressively uglier Armando Benitez supposedly back to form.
Hitting: Even disregarding the albatross in left field, San Francisco has a frighteningly old lineup with no regulars under the age of 31. They're only non-Barry players with an above average career OPS+ are Rich Aurilia, Ray Durham, and Randy Winn (106, 106, 101) and Aurilia and Winn play positions (1B and RF) where you normally see higher production. Vomit-inducing.
Miscellaneous: A tale of two Barries. Reportedly Zito asked for, and received, the locker directly next to Bonds, an honor that lead Mark Sweeney to be implicated in Bonds' positive test for amphetamines this past season. I know Zito is chill and all, but this is just foolish. I'm not sure how many times Bonds can hear Zito's John Mayer CD before he flips his surfer boy head off like a Pez dispenser. Seriously, Zito, Bonds is high strung.
Giants-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: I kinda like the idea of setting a line for the Zito head = Pez dispenser thing, but I'm going to go with May 12th as the date Barry Bonds destroys Omar Vizquel's salsa-blaring boombox and Vizquel's cousins subsequently knife him in the parking lot.
Previous teams
NL West
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
Pitching: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Giants won't pay that dearly for the Barry Zito signing this season. He's a durable, above average, pitcher with great hair and a burgeoning career as a tour de force actor/musician/weirdo. But when the Giants want that $17 million a year to spend on keeping guys like Matt Cain, Noah Lowry, and Tim Linecum a few years down the line, Brian Sabean will have to start hawking Barry Zito Jazz Ensemble CD's out of the back his van in front of the ballpark. What I like about the Giants pitching is that Matt Morris, at 32, is their oldest starter. Cain and Lincecum are 22, Lowry is 26, and Zito is 29. I don't think Lincecum begins the season in the rotation and that's not a bad thing unless Russ Ortiz is the one pitching every fifth day. Bullpen: looks solid with rookie closer Brian Wilson and the progressively uglier Armando Benitez supposedly back to form.
Hitting: Even disregarding the albatross in left field, San Francisco has a frighteningly old lineup with no regulars under the age of 31. They're only non-Barry players with an above average career OPS+ are Rich Aurilia, Ray Durham, and Randy Winn (106, 106, 101) and Aurilia and Winn play positions (1B and RF) where you normally see higher production. Vomit-inducing.
Miscellaneous: A tale of two Barries. Reportedly Zito asked for, and received, the locker directly next to Bonds, an honor that lead Mark Sweeney to be implicated in Bonds' positive test for amphetamines this past season. I know Zito is chill and all, but this is just foolish. I'm not sure how many times Bonds can hear Zito's John Mayer CD before he flips his surfer boy head off like a Pez dispenser. Seriously, Zito, Bonds is high strung.
Giants-related Ridiculous Proposition Bet: I kinda like the idea of setting a line for the Zito head = Pez dispenser thing, but I'm going to go with May 12th as the date Barry Bonds destroys Omar Vizquel's salsa-blaring boombox and Vizquel's cousins subsequently knife him in the parking lot.
Previous teams
NL West
Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks
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