Football Friday: Week 14

Editors' note: Every week, these two idiots will play a Pick 'Em NFL game. The object is for each editor to pick four seemingly even NFL matchups from the upcoming weekend, challenging the other pick to the winners. A running record will be tallied. Feel free to play along at home. Leave comments with your own picks if you want to go on the record.

Standings (Week 13 in parentheses)

Ian 22-14 (3-1)
Saj 16-20 (2-2)

Can't waste any time accusing you of cheating or voodoo this morning, I have a meeting to get to. Here are your games you cheater:

Baltimore at Kansas City (Sunday, 1:00)

Indianapolis at Jacksonville (Sunday, 1:00)

Tennessee at Houston (Sunday, 1:00)

New Orleans at Dallas (Sunday, 8:15)

There were a number of games I thought you'd have trouble with this week so I just picked four of them. Plus I've never been so sure of the other 11 games on the schedule in the short life of this blog of ours. I'm feeling a 4-0 weekend, yes I am.


If by cheat you mean having immense perspicacity when it comes to the NFL, then guilty as charged. Four and oh, you say? Prove it, pal.

Philadelphia at Washington (Sunday, 1:00)

Minnesota at Detroit (Sunday, 1:oo)

Green Bay at San Francisco (Sunday, 4:05)

Chicago at St. Louis (Monday, 8:30)

Let's see it, Swami.


Very shrewd in not giving me the Chargers-Broncos game. Very shrewd. And I'm glad to see you didn't choose the Jets game for me.

PHILADELPHIA over Washington

Jeff Garcia is not an attractive man. That's a good thing, because I do not trust attractive men. They always break your heart. I also have a strange feeling that Garcia will lead these Eagles into the playoffs. But I don't trust strange feelings that have to do with unattractive men. I'm so confused. Um, let's just move on.

MINNESOTA over Detroit

Chester Taylor is listed as doubtful for this weekend, which definitely hurts the Vikings, but big ole' Steve Hutchinson will still be around to pass and run block, so I'm giving Minnesota the edge. Sidenote on Taylor: as of January 26th, he'll be a proud member of the University of Toledo hall of fame. Go Toledo Rockets!!

SAN FRANCISCO over Green Bay

If this game was in Green Bay, I might consider taking the Packers. But it's in California. Frank Gore will tear this terrible Packer defense apart and the 49ers will take another step towards contending for a playoff spot they have no business contending for. Their point differential is negative 110, second worst in the league to Tampa Bay. Translation: they'll find a way to beat Green Bay, Seattle, Arizona, and Denver in their last four games to grab the fifth seed in the playoffs.

ST. LOUIS over Chicago

Super upset spectacular of the day: The underdog Rams, at home, beat the Bears outright. With Tommie Harris, the Bears run-stuffing DT, out for at least Monday, I think Stephen Jackson has a big day. I also think I'm completely wrong about this pick.


Friday: I'll get to this tomorrow. Gotta go up and see the Celtics.

Saturday: Well, another Celtics close game, another loss down the stretch. Still, I enjoyed myself because I was yelling at Doc Rivers to do things, and then two possessions later he would do them. This included defensive switches, timeouts, and especially substitutions. I don't think I'd enjoy a competant coach as much, who would always be a step or two ahead of me instead of the other way around.

As for the NFL picks, why would I give you Denver-San Diego? This is Jay Cutler's second game against a non college defense, and as I've said so many times, Tom Brady's aren't that common. Or Philip Rivers'. Or Tony Romo's. Okay, maybe my "veteran quarterbacks on contending teams shouldn't be lifted for inexperienced quarterbacks during the season" rule is losing steam. Still, San Diego is playing too well right now, so you weren't getting that one.

As for the Jets, yes, that was a gift for you. It's in appreciation of you putting a counter at the bottom of this page.

Onto the picks...

Game 1: Baltimore @ Kansas City: Tough game to call. I usually prefer great defenses and great front sevens over good offenses and great runners...but I love great homefield advantage even more. It seems like some of the old school "stone cold locks" at home...the Lambeaus, the Foxboro's, the RCA's of the world...are no longer locks. I think the Chiefs now enjoy the best homefield advantage in football. Too bad they won't get a homegame in the first round of the playoffs, when I think this game will be played again but this time in Baltimore, where Herm Edwards will find some way to mismanage the clock down the stretch. But for now, take the homies. Pick: Kansas City

Game 2: Indianapolis @ Jacksonville: I'm calling this: Indy runs the table the rest of the regular season, people hop on the Colts bandwagon again, citing Peyton Manning's ability to outgun any team, and then they lose in the playoffs to the first team with a competant coach and running game. And then everyone will go "Ohhhhhh yeah. That's why I wasn't picking them a month ago!" Until then, take the defending regular season champs. Pick: Indianapolis

Game 3: Tennessee @ Houston: Houston is still a bottom feeder and Tennessee has been promoted to average team, but Houston often wins home games against average teams. Houston can't win anywhere but home. Still, I'll take Vince Young and his squad because I think the Titans have this laughable notion in the back of their minds that they can win out and make the playoffs. And to this laughable notion I say this: Ha! Picks: Tennessee

Game 4: New Orleans @ Dallas: This is the game of the week. These are two very good football teams. I'm in such an odd position with Dallas right now. I want them to do well despite them doing it without Bledsoe, because then if Romo gets hurt in the playoffs, Bledsoe can play in the playoffs one last time before he either A) retires or B) plays for Oakland or Detroit. But if the Cowboys cut Bledsoe or if he were to not be on the team for any reason, I'd be rooting against the Cowboys pretty hard. And this is despite my prediction before the season that they'd be a top team in the NFL, which everyone else if finally starting to realize, and they cite all the reasons I have listed for the last three or four months.

This game pits the two most revived franchises in the sport. I think New Orleans finshes as the 4 seed, while Dallas can be either the 2 or 3, so it's likely they're not facing each other in the playoffs. Too bad. If you asked the NFL, this would be the premier matchup they'd want to see in the NFC playoffs. The NFL's most hated team, though also the one with the biggest fan base in the Cowboys - against eveyone's 2nd favorite team this season in the Saints for the obvious reasons. They're both well coached, they each have likeable quarterbacks with strong interest stories, two dynamic running backs, an outspoken wide receiver, a young improving defense, and most important, loads of moxie.

For this matchup, I'm going to take the Saints and I'll tell you why. First, Tony Romo is due for a bad game. He just is. And the Cowboys better hope it happens before the playoffs. Second, Reggie Bush broke out last week and now he's on national television. So either A) He carries this team tomorrow night or B) The defense keys in on him realizing the threat he is, and Brees goes to other targets (Joe Horn) through the air. I like a scoring fest here. Take the over and take the Saints. Pick: New Orleans