FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL: Week 1

Back when Ian and I decided to institute a moratorium on posting for our crappy blog, in my mind we secretly decided to resurrect Football Friday when the time came. And since the season got off to a vomit-inducing, let's-all-jerk-off-to-Peyton-Manning start last night, I'd say the time has come.

Football Friday works like this: we give each other four games and we have to pick the outright winners. Simple. Ian, as you were the victor last year give me your best four from this weekend.


Yes, Saj, I was the victor. Just out of curiosity, what does that make you? Maybe this will help: Let's take a look at the final standings last season before we goofed around for Week 17.

Standings.... GB
Ian 28-20...... -- (winner)
Saj 21-27...... 7 (?????)

I just can't think of what goes there. Any ideas? Anyway, time to defend the crown. Here are your four games this weekend:

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)



Whatever, man. Whatever. For you:

Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers (Sunday, 4:15)

TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES!


I am walking out of this dome in 17 weeks. I just hope I'm still in one piece. Let's get this party started.

Denver @ Buffalo: Is anyone expecting Buffalo to be better this year? When was the last time they did something to improve their team? They drafted Losman when they had Bledsoe. They drafted McGahee when they had Travis Henry. They haven't been nearly as good since making those moves, and now Losman is a bottom tier starter and neither McGahee nor Henry are even on the roster. Tough year for the Bills coming up, especially playing in the Pats' and Jets' division. We're talking 4-5 wins. And this isn't one of them. Pick: Denver

Miami @ Washington: P.U. What's that smell? Oh, it's these two teams. I'm at a crossroads. This match up is a toss up, but it contradicts my two crossroads tendencies (1. When in doubt, go with the home team; 2. When in doubt, go with the AFC team). I gotta go Miami, if for no other reason than A) The weather is still warm, B) While these two teams break even as two poor defensive squads, the Dolphins are more talented on the offensive end, and C) Clinton Portis is on my fantasy team, and is therefore due to pull a hamstring early in the second quarter. Pick: Miami

Kansas City @ Houston: Man, that smell is REALLY getting strong now. Hey Saj, thanks for the worst game of the weekend. I say Matt Schaub and the steadily ascending Houston Texans are more excited to play football than the steadily declining Kansas City Chiefs. If the Texans win this game, it'll be the first time in franchise history that they'll be over .500. And I have no idea if that's true, as I did no research to back that up. Pick: Houston

Chicago @ San Diego: I've always counted you as a friend, Saj. You're a nice guy. This is how you prove it. An NFC team with a bad offense vs. a well rounded AFC team that has the best talent in the NFL. And oh yeah, the AFC team is hosting. Pick: San Diego

Go get 'em, pal. You're up.


Gonna be quick.

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings
Tavaris Jackson vs. Joey Harrington. Not exactly Montana v. Elway. I'm going with the Falcons here for a number of reasons. 1) I flipped a coin. 2) Bobby Petrino sounds like the name of a race car driver. 3) Nothing heals the gaping wounds left open from the Vick saga like a W against a bunch of guys in purple who like taking cruises together.

Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
Nope. Not falling for it. I'm not going to talk myself into Daunte Culpepper. No way. But Jon Kitna, sure. I know that's irrational, but whatever. GO LIONS!

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Have you seen the new iPods? They're pretty awesome.

Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Should I take all road teams? Maybe. Okay, I'm doing it. Cincinnati isn't that good. They really aren't. As yes this marks the second consecutive season where I have Steve McNair on my fantasy team. Next year, I'm just going to burn the money. Save myself the time.