Football Friday: Week 10

Through nine weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 22-14.......... -- ..............4-0
Saj 19-17............ 3 ..............3-1

Same shit, different toilet. I'll catch you, you son of a bitch. Your games:

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants (Sunday, 4:15pm)
Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers (Sunday, 1:00pm)
Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday, 1:00pm)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans (Sunday, 1:00pm)

Football Friday: Week 9

Through eight weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 18-14.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 16-16........... 2 .............3-1


You shaved another game. And your beard. Is there nothing I do better than you anymore?

Your games for the week:

Cincinatti Bengals at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at New Orleans Saints (Sunday, 1:00)
San Francisco 49ers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 1:00)
Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)


Wait a second. Are you saying that your beard is better than mine? Is that what you're saying? Because from what you wrote, I think that's what you're saying. You know, I wasn't going to do this, but...

New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts (Sunday, 4:15)

Sit on that. And these:

Green Bay Packers at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Carolina Panthers at Tennessee Titans (Sunday, 1:00)
Denver Broncos at Detroit Lions (Sunday, 1:00)


Did you try and get back at me by giving me one of the easiest games of the week? You work in mysterious ways... just like your fictional God. Yeah, I went there. This blog is crazy!

Green Bay @ Kansas City: Both of these teams are overachievers... but one is overachieving more. Pick: Green Bay

Carolina @ Tennessee: NFL picking 101: The NFC team with the inferior record and talent goes on the road. Pick: Tennessee

Denver @ Detroit: It's very disconcerting to have the Broncos as a bad team. For what seems like twenty years, they've been contenders. Admittedly, I was slow this year to discount them from the batch of contenders and I have picked them too many times. I am not making that mistake again. Week 9 has arrived, and Denver is a bad football team. On a side note, hats off to the Detroit Lions for overachieving to this point. That's a team I don't mind seeing success strike. Pick: Detroit

New England @ Indianapolis: I can't write rationally about this game. It's the biggest regular season NFL game I can remember and my favorite team is involved. I cannot be objective. So, with that caveat: The Pats are ridiculously great. Since Week 1 I've been calling an undefeated season. So how, then, could I pick the Colts this weekend? I cannot. Nor do I wish to. Nor should I. Nor should anyone. Pick: PATS!!!!

Cincinatti Bengals at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)

True story, Marshawn Lynch loves eating at Applebee's. You have to admire a man whose willing to admit that. BILLS

Jacksonville Jaguars at New Orleans Saints (Sunday, 1:00)

JAGUARS


San Francisco 49ers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 1:00)

FALCONS

Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)

TEXANS

Football Friday: Week 8

Through seven weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 16-12.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 13-15........... 3 .............2-2

Still within striking distance...

Your games:

Browns at Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Lions at Bears (Sunday, 1:00)
Eagles at Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Packers at Broncos (Monday, 8:30)


If by "within striking distance," you meant "false hope," then you'd be correct.

Yours:

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday, 1:00)
New York Giants at London Dolphins (Sunday, 6:00 GMT)
New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers (Sunday, 4:15)


Buffalo Bills at New York Jets

I just don't think I can convince myself to take Chad Penningt0n on the road. Or at home. Even against the Bills. Whatever happens in this game it won't change the fact that 'Mangenius' is getting trashed in the locker room. In general I wish Mangini only success. But not as long as he's the Jets coach. I want to see him mangle the season, lose his job, get hired by the Falcons, and lead them to a 2009 Superbowl win over Herm Edwards' Kansas City Chiefs. If that happens, Jets' fan and roommate Rob would commit suicide. Between the Jets continued decline into suckitude and the pitching-poor Mets having to choose between signing Kyle Lohse and Carlos Silva this offseason I think the borough of Queens is going to implode. By the way, even money says Joel Pineiro or Jeff Weaver is starting the Mets' third game of the season. BILLS

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I never thought I'd say this, but the injury and subsequent loss of David Garrard will be the difference in a professional football game. Weird, right? And as if we needed anymore evidence of how much every non-Patriots, non-Colts team in the NFL sucks the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who were 4-12 last year, will win the NFC South with Earnest Graham as their starting tailback. Even weirder. BUCCANEERS

New York Giants at London Dolphins

Really? What can I really say about a game where Cleo Lemon has to face the best pass-rush in football? I mean, I could speculate on when exactly Osi Umenyiora (sp?) and Antonio Pierce snap Lemon's neck like a chicken bone but I'm not one for speculating. Some points: 1) Nice touch with the Greenwich Mean Time. And 2) Did you hear about the giant statue of Jason Taylor in Trafalgar Square? The ghost of Horatio Nelson must be really, really pissed off. I think the Giants will win this game handily, but the real winner is the people of London. I mean, even a 26-foot tall animatronic Jason Taylor must be damn cute. GIANTS

New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers

If Drew Brees doesn't throw the ball to Marques Colston I will be very upset. And you won't like when I'm upset. SAINTS


Cleveland @ St. Louis: The Rams and Dolphins are racing to the #1 pick, though since I don't follow amateur sports too closely, I don't know who that's going to be. The possible returns of Stephen Jackson and Marc Bulger could ruin top-pick potential for St. Louis. I'm not sure homefield will mean much for the rest of the year for the Rams, and at some point, when the fans are openly rooting against them, homefield could have a negative impact. The Browns are not that good... but they're better than the worst. Pick: Cleveland

Detroit @ Chicago: Pass-based dome team in a cold, windy city. Hmmmm... Pick: Chicago

Philadelphia @ Minnesota: I'm starting to realize you gave me the most boring games possible. Yikes. What does someone say about Eagles-Vikings? They are too utterly mediocre teams with no upside or downside. They're locks to be betweeen 6 and 8 wins. So I'll take the home team. Pick: Minnesota

Green Bay @ Denver: This Monday Night Football game will be on at the same time as a potential Game 5 of the World Series. It's going to be a sad, sad Tuesday morning in Colorado. Pick: Green Bay

Football Friday: Week 7

Through six weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 14-10.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 11-13........... 3 .............2-2

Man, last week was such a terrible week for me. Nice week for you, though.

Your games:

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:05)
Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday, 4:15)
Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars (Monday, 8:30)

Yes. Terrible, terrible week for Jimmy the Greek over there. I'm coming back up in this shit like J-Lo.

Yours:

New York Jets at Cincinnati Bengals
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions
Baltimore Ravens at Buffalo Bills
Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys


New York Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals: Is it safe to say that these were the two most overrated teams in football coming into the season? I think it's safe to say that. Many picked these teams to go to the playoffs. A majority of prognosticators picked them to finish second in their respective divisions. Their head coaches were lauded for their success reshaping the franchises. But now? No playoffs for either team. They're in the bottom two of their divisions. Thought, to be fair, the Jets, at 1-5, are only a half game back of second place. (Can I mention something else here? Is anyone paying attention to the AFC East Standings? The Patriots, after six weeks, have five more wins than the second place team. Doesn't this have to be a record after six weeks? I mean, the Pats could clinch their division by Week TEN, which also has to be some kind of record. Why is no one talking about this?) And, of course, these coaches are heavily criticized, from Eric Mangini's bungling of CameraGate which has made the entire league hate him, to Marvin Lewis apparently forgetting he's a defensive-minded head coach. Not a good job by these two one-win teams and coaches. I guess I'll go with the home team on this one. Pick: Cincinnati

Tampa Bay @ Detroit: This is a pretty important game for this early in the season. The Bucs, at 4-2, sit tied with Carolina atop the NFC South. The Lions, at 3-2, might be contenders, but are on the precipice of devolving back into the pack of also-rans. Which will happen? The latter. In fact, it's already begun. Detroit is 1-2 in its last three games. Pick: Tampa Bay

Baltimore @ Buffalo: I am of the sort that thinks Baltimore is not terribly good. They are not a championship contender. Their vaunted defense is a shell of its former dominant self that became so popular in the early part of this decade/century/millennium. But this is the Buffalo Bills. At least Baltimore can do a little something something on both sides of the football. Pick: Baltimore

Minnesota @ Dallas: The Cowboys' shellacking at the hand of the New England Patriots were the best thing that could have happened to the guys from the Big D. Without a match up against a quality team early in the season, Dallas would have coasted through the season with undefeated big heads who would have no idea the kind of talent it takes to win the whole thing. The Pats' slap in their face, however, brought them back to reality. Now they know, and I expect them to become a better team because of what happened last Sunday, and they'll make a run to the NFC Championship game. Pick: Dallas

Picking Dallas? After Adrian Peterson pulled a Walter Payton on the Bears last week? Interesting...

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans

Vince Young should be starting despite a strained right quadricep (cue WebMD graphic... now) and that's bad news for the Texans. They love Vince Young in Texas. LOVE. A Houston native who won the Longhorns the national title over a higher ranked USC team, that legacy just doesn't disappear. Poor Texans. Not only are they second-fiddle to the Cowboys as professional franchise but they might be seventh or eighth fiddle to the glut of storied college and high school football programs in Texas. Anyway, long story short, purely for marketing reasons they should have drafted Young (or at least Bush) but they didn't. Also, the Titans gave up the most rushing yards per game last year and the Texans rank 29th in rushing yards per game so far this season. Something... has got... to give..... TITANS

WebMD sidenote: Thank God for the WebMD graphics. Last night, Fox showed me a perfectly healthy WebMD graphic guy for the purpose of telling me that Josh Beckett was not injured in any way shape or form. As my friend Jeff said to Chris Myers once at Fenway: "Hey Chris, Fox is ruining baseball"


Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders

You know what's funny about this game? If the Chiefs win, and with the San Diego bye week, they will be in sole possession of first place in the AFC West. I mean, wow. And if the Raiders win they will scare first place with the Chargers. I mean, wow wow. I'm glad I'm a Patriots fan. Speaking of Patriots, if I were to buy a Patriots jersey, which one do I buy? I was dead set on Maroney before the season but now I don't know. Ben Watson? Richard Seymour? Randy Moss?!?!? Maybe I should just go with the retro mid-90's Ben Coates or the even more retro mid-80's Irving Fryar. Or just get a custom number 12 jersey with "Model Fucker" on the back. I just don't know. RAIDERS


Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles at home? I'll take it! Sidenote: Brian Westbrook is fast. Faster than Adrian Peterson. I have no idea if that's true. EAGLES

Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars

You had to do this to me. I'm picking the Colts here, and for only one reason: When the Patriots play the Colts in week 9 I want both teams to be undefeated. And I want the Colts to lose by 106 points. Bill Belichick will make sure that happens. He will treat Week 9's game as the biggest game of his coaching career after last year's playoff loss. COLTS

Why Josh Beckett Must Start Game 4

If you don't know where you come down on the Beckett or Wakefield argument for tonight's Game 4, just consider this hypothetical scenario: If tonight's Game 4 were rained out, would Josh Beckett pitch tomorrow's game 4 on normal rest?

The answer is unequivocally yes.

And that's why Josh Beckett is the no brainer for tonight.

Is anyone questioning Beckett's effectiveness if he pitches tonight? He's 2-0 in his playoff career on three days rest. He threw one of the great World Series games on three days rest. He's completely in the zone. Sending him against Paul Byrd is the closest thing the Red Sox have to a sure thing in this series.

That is, except, Josh Beckett vs. Jake Westbrook in a potential Game 7.

And that's the crux of the issue, and neither of the WEEI guys acknowledged it in the debate this morning. The Red Sox have the potential to send Josh Beckett, head and shoulders their best pitcher, out to the mound three times this series, including a Game 7 where he'd be on FULL rest, thanks to scheduled offdays after Games 4 and 5.

I understand that the Red Sox don't want to push up Schilling and DiceK into games 5 and 6. I understand they want to give them longer than normal rest. Fine. Throw Wakefield in Game five instead of four. That's right, I'm saying let's go Beckett-Wakefield instead of Wakefield-Beckett.

The difference? Game 7.

Down two games to one means the Sox have to win three out of the next four. If Wakefield, on 18 days rest and a sore back and a cortizone shot and a terrible September, puts the Sox in a 3-1 series hole after tonight, then Boston needs to win three in a row, and that includes a DiceK Game 7 start. That's a tall order against a good Cleveland Indians club.

Finally, to really drive home the point, let's look a the four possible scenarios after tonight.

1. Wakefield starts, Red Sox lose, falling down 3 games to 1. Read the above paragraph.
2. Wakefield starts, Red Sox win, tying the series 2-2. The Red Sox still have to win two out of three, with two games coming against Sabathia and Carmona, and the last being another Matsuzaka start.
3. Beckett starts, Red Sox win, tying the series 2-2. The Red Sox have to win two out of the next three, but if they can win either Game 5 or 6, then they have Beckett on full rest against Westbrook in Fenway for Game 7. This is the most likely scenario.
4. Beckett starts, Red Sox lose, falling down 3 games to 1. Is there any possibility Beckett loses to Paul Byrd? I mean, at all?

Josh Beckett must start Game 4.

Football Friday: Week 6

Standings after five weeks of riveting NFL action:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 12-8.......... -- ..............3-1
Saj 9-11........... 3 ..............2-2

Here are your Week 6 games:

Washington Redskins at Green Bay Packers
Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
Tennessee Titans at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Miami Dolphins at Cleveland Browns


Order was restored last week, with our most common results once again having representation. Your games:

Cincinatti Bengals at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Philadelphia Eagles at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Giants at Atlanta Falcons (Monday, 8:30)


Cincinatti Bengals at Kansas City Chiefs

I was reading Peter King's fantasy football column today and he told me to pick up Cincinnati running back Kenny Watson. So I did. In both leagues. You heard right. I might start Kenny Watson in two separate leagues this week. Kenny Watson. Both leagues. I think I'm legally obligated to support the Bengals here. BENGALS

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Jets

J-E-T-S, SUCK SUCK SUCK!! There is very little I enjoy more than watching the Jets lose week in and week out. I believe the Germans call that "schadenfreude." Also, the longterm success of my fantasy team depends on Bryant Westbrook running for lots of yards and scoring lots of points. I believe the Germans call that "IhaveafantasyfootballcrushonBryantWestbrook." Crazy Germans and their made up words. EAGLES

Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals

Just when you think Matt Leinart might suffer the indignity of losing his job to a 36-year-old Kurt Warner, the lucky bastard goes and breaks his collarbone. Leinart, you son of a bitch. While you're having a pain-killer fueled orgy with the Hilton sisters and Hayley Duff I hope you're at least sorta thinking about your teammates suffering through three hours of poorly executed football. CARDINALS

New York Giants at Atlanta Falcons

You never really know what will happen with this Giants team. One week you pick them to win and they lose and the next week you pick them to lose and they win. You just never really know. Except for this week. They will win. The Plaxico/D'Angelo Hall matchup should be fun to watch. And fingers crossed for Brandon Jacobs to bulldoze the Falcons defense for 200 yards and three scores (fantasy implications). GIANTS


With four 1:00 games, my fate will be decided before the Dallas-New England showdown (Pats by 17, by the way).

Washington @ Green Bay: Sooooo, it turns out the Packers don't have a running game and everyone knows it now. And an aged Brett Favre is not good enough to play well against a defense that knows he has to throw. Favre hasn't been that good since the 90's. The Redskins, meanwhile, are turning into a solid NFC team, perhaps the third best team in the conference. Pick: Washington

Houston @ Jacksonville: It's clear that Houston is not the same team without Andre Johnson. On the subject... Andre Johnson is out for Week 6. Pick: Jacksonville

Tennessee @ Tampa Bay: A battle of conference mid-tier teams. You know what that means! Go with the AFC team. Pick: Tennessee

Miami @ Cleveland: Cleo Lemon, leading an 0-5 Miami Dolphins team on the road, against an underrated Cleveland Browns team that's 2-1 at home. Ladies and gentlemen, the Browns are about to be .500 heading into Week 7, which is a bye week, and then they go and play a winless St. Louis team in Week 8. We could be looking at a 4-3 Browns team for the first time since what I can only assume was Bernie Kosar leaning over center. But first, they need a win at home against the Fins. Pick: Cleveland

Football Friday: Week 5

Standings after four weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 9-7.......... -- ..............0-4
Saj 7-9.......... 2 ..............3-1

All right, Saj. Gift given. Time to get serious again. Your games:

New York Jets at (kinda) New York Giants (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins (Sunday, 1:00)
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (Sunday, 8:15)


Comebacks are like women, Ian. Women with large breasts.

Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday, 1:00)
Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints (Sunday, 1:00)
Atlanta Falcons at Tennessee Titans (Sunday, 1:00)
San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos (Sunday, 4:15)


Seattle @ Pittsburgh: In my opinion, these are two top 5 teams in football (with Pats, Indy, and Dallas). This rematch of Superbowl XL will have similar results, especially the results that show that a top tier NFC team is not as good as a second tier AFC one. Pick: Pittsburgh

Carolina @ New Orleans: This is a great example of a home team with some urgency doing what it takes to win a football game. This is also a great example of Reggie Bush's breakout party. Pick: New Orleans

Atlanta @ Tennessee: Hey, my Knock-Out pool pick for week 5! I've taken Seattle, Chicago, Baltimore, and Dallas in the first four weeks. Yes, I still have the Pats and Indy... but I'm saving them to go the distance. This week, I'll take the team playing one of the worst teams in football on the road. Pick: Atlanta loses... so I guess Tennessee

San Diego @ Denver: First, a caveat: I am using the same justification this week that I used for San Diego's game last week when I mistakenly took them. The Chargers can't possibly fall another game under .500. I know that they go on the road this week whereas last week they were at home. I know they're playing a better team in Denver compared to the putrid Kansas City Chiefs of Week 4. But I also know that San Diego has not yet had reason to panic about their season... until now. Now there's some urgency. Now there's a realization that a playoff birth will not again be handed to them on a platter. And Denver is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Pick: San Diego


New York Jets at (kinda) New York Giants

The real loser in this game: the city of New York. By Monday morning the Yankees will have been swept, James Dolan will be cutting a fat check to Anucha Brown-Sanders, Tom Glavine will have officially left the Mets, and the greater metropolitan area will have to suffer through watching this exercise in football futility. My final prediction? The Giants edge out the Jets: seven false start penalties to five rushing touchdowns allowed. GIANTS.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs

When in doubt go with the home team that has Larry Johnson. CHIEFS.


Detroit Lions at Washington Redskins

I still think the Redskins are the real deal even if their coaching staff isn't. This looks like a 45-40 game if I ever saw one. REDSKINS.


Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers

Brett Favre vs. Rexian Grossiese? PACKERS.

MLB Playoffs

First, Saj, let me say that last night (Padres-Rockies) was one of the greatest "regular season" baseball games I've ever seen. Rarely do I stay up past 10:00 on a school night, but last night earned it. Simply an amazing game. It's been written about to death, so I won't spend too much more time on it, except to say this:

Will Colorado ride this momentum (their last 15 games and last night's classic) to make some noise in the National League? And on that note, what can we make of the National League playoffs? Couldn't you make a case for any one of the teams, the best argument for each being that the other three team have significant holes? Basically, Saj, I ask you: Who's winning the National League pennant?

Funny story. Watching the mad dash in the NL this past week for the final playoff spot(s) made me remember exactly how much I love baseball when the games matter. Every pitch, every swing, every baseball-related cliche. Which is why I told myself that I was going to watch the Rockies-Padres game. Unfortunately for quasi-playoff baseball, I love barbecue more. So roommate Rob graciously set the game to record and I set off to gorge myself on dead animal and Southern alcohol. I return home around 11 only to find that the game is still going on, ignore it in favor of the Patriots game (and, sure, maybe "The Hills"), finally sit down to watch the Rocks-Pads around midnight, and promptly fall into a slumber only eight bourbons and three pounds of meat can produce. What this means is that even though I saw the highlights on espn.com today, I will still go home and try to watch the game in it's entirety all the while getting sidetracked by "House" and whatever other crappy television is on tonight.

To answer your question: No. Don't get me wrong, I love the Rockies. I want the Rockies to win the NLCS (and the World Series if Boston doesn't). I want to see Todd Helton play some meaningful baseball for once. I want a bronze statue of Dante Bichette and Vinny Castilla getting steroid injections in the front lawn of my future home. But I don't see them getting past the Phillies in a short series where the Phillies will have Cole Hamels starting twice, Brett Myers pitching multiple innings out of the bullpen, homefield advantage, and Rollins/Utley/Howard. If you want evidence for this matter, look at Matt Holliday's home-away splits: his OPS jumps 300 points at home to a Bondsian 1.157. That's no accident, the Rockies are lethal at home, average on the road.

That being said, Colorado does have the best adjusted record of the remaining (read: non-Mets) NL playoff teams and they do have decent pitching for a team from Coors Field. I hope they make noise, Ian. I do. But the Phillies are probably the toughest draw in the field right now and Chase Utley is the dreamiest son of a gun this side of Harrisburg.

Pennant winner prediction: Anyone but the Diamondbacks. You heard it here, FIRST.

Football Friday: Week 4

Standings after three weeks:

Standings.....GB
Ian 9-3.......... --
Saj 4-8.......... 5

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Oakland pulls the old switch-a-roo on Phil Dawson, Joe Gibbs and Jason Campbell completely f**k up an otherwise awesome two minute drill, and somehow Nate Burleson catches a football thrown to him. I mean come on. Admit it, Ian. The God you don't believe in loves you. F**king loves you. Here are your games:

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions
Oakland Raiders at Miami Dolphins
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers
Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants

Gamesmanship, Ian. Giving YOU the Giants this time.


You're lucky. My respect for gamesmanship nullifies my disrespect for you. Your games:

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
New York Jets at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 1:00)
Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns (Sunday, 1:00)

I had a very difficult time finding a 3rd and 4th challenging game, so I just decided to have some fun and go with all 1:00 games. You potentially being 4-0 by 4:30 could put the pressure on me to win in the afternoon and night, but you being 1-3 (again) means I could continue squeezing the life out of you. Good times.


Green Bay at Minnesota

How about them Packers, huh? True fantasy football draft story: In the 9th round of our draft I had yet to pick a quarterback (effectively punting the position) and I turn to Ian and I say, "should I grab a QB here?" And he says, "you should have grabbed a QB four rounds ago. Yes, draft a QB." So instead I draft Devery Henderson. Yes, Devery Henderson. The draft snakes: Kitna, Roethlisberger, and Alex Smith all fall off the board and I draft Brett Favre. I'm not sure if I can truly explain how it feels when "I should have drafted Jon Kitna" is how you describe your fantasy football draft. I don't think the words exist in the English language. And since I don't speak any other languages I just can't articulate the exact mixture of dread, self-pity, and confusion I was feeling. Long story short, Favre has been pretty good so far and there's a reason for hope in Camp Saj.

New York Jets at Buffalo

You know, it's really hard to read a team that just got whomped by the best team in America, especially when they lost their starting quarterback in the process, but I'm going to have to go with Buffalo here. The Bills will be at home, they have a solid defense, and, even with rookie Trent Edwards at quarterback, Marshawn Lynch should have a field day running against a Jets defense that gave up 200 yards to Ronnie Brown last week. I truly believe that Buffalo will win this game. I swear this is not a run-of-the-mill Saj anti-Jets pick. I swear.

Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons

Put yourself in Matt Schaub's shoes for a second. Are you upset that the Vick stuff happened after you left for Houston? Or relieved? Sure there's some talent behind the ball in Atlanta, but the playbook had been written for a Michael Vick not a Matt Schaub. And, in Houston, you're breathing life into a franchise that never had any as part of a team that is basically all yours. Texans.

Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns

To borrow a Simmons-ism: "Call me crazy, but I'm just not that excited for the Derek Anderson-era." I'm not saying Kyle Boller or Steve McNair are any better, but I am saying that Willis McGahee and Ed Reed are. To borrow a Madden-ism: "Playmakers. On both sides of the ball. Watch this... BOOM!" Sidenote: how fat is Romeo Crennel? Really fat, or really, really fat?


Going into last week, I was like, "Man, I can't possibly go 3-1 for a third consecutive week to start the season, can I? I mean, consistently getting 75% correct picks in the NFL when six to eight of the easiest games are always taken off the table is impossible, right?" But I'll be damned, I actually went 3-1 again. Did ya notice, Saj? Did ya?

But come on. I can't possibly go 3-1 AGAIN, can I?

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions: The division title is not changing hands this year. The Bears might play .500 football outside of the NFC North, but I don't think the Bears lose more than one division game all year. That includes against the rejuvinated Green Bay Packers, and it DEFINITELY includes the party-juvinated Detroit Lions. Pick: Chicago

Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins: Just one thought on this pathetic game: As the home team, the Miami Dolphins have the option of wearing their white jerseys. This leaves Oakland with their blacks. In Miami. In September. You'll be lucky to get three coherant quarters of a team that's untalented to begin with. Pick: Miami

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers: Hey, these teams have been to Superbowls this century! And now they stink! Good times. Can we say enough about the Pats to be in the hunt every year for the last six? These two teams used to be premier and now I'm forced to pick between the lesser of who sucks less. When in doubt, go with the home team. Pick: Carolina

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants: Hey, another NFC divisional game! Thanks, Saj. I mean, it's such a good conference. What, you couldn't throw me an NFC West game, too? As for this one, I don't know many things, but I do know this: The Eagles are the NFC's closest version of the Patriots (good coaching, consistent effort, perennially contending in their conference), and the Giants are a bad football team. Pick: Philadelphia

Football Friday: Week 3

Standings after two weeks:

Standings.....GB
Ian 6-2.......... --
Saj 3-5.......... 3


I won't feel safe until Saj is at least 14.5 games back with three months to play. Because that kind of lead is insurmountable in sports.

Saj, good luck making up ground with these picks:

Miami Dolphins at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Minnesota Vikings at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Cleveland Browns at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Giants at Washington Redskins(Sunday, 4:15)

The "luck", friend, will need to be good for YOU. Yes. You.

St. Louis Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday, 1:00)
Cincinnati Bengals at Seattle Seahawks (Sunday, 4:05)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos (Sunday, 4:05)
Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 4:15)


Miami Dolphins at New York Jets

I know what you're thinking, Ian. But I've learned a thing or two over the offseason- namely that it's okay to pick the Jets every once in a while. Roommate, and Jets' apologist, Rob is going to the game this weekend and he was excited because "they actually might win this one." Oh, to be a Jets fan. A year ago I would have opted to pick against the Jets with blatant disregard for whomever they're playing, but Rob's defeatist attitude has turned me, slightly. Think of this more as a sympathy nod than anything. Sympathy sidenote: No sympathy for Mangini when he goes 4-12 and loses the "Man-genius" title. Wake up, New York, the Jets scored 23 more points than they allowed last year. They're no good. But Miami is worse.
Minnesota Vikings at Kansas City Chiefs

Really? Kansas City is terrible. And Minnesota has the second coming of Tony Dorsett in Adrian Peterson. By the way, how much must it suck to be a Chiefs fan? Your franchise running back holds out all of training camp, the feel good story of the last few months (Priest Holmes) fails to make his comeback, you're 0-2 in competent quarterbacks, and HBO chose to profile you in training camp just before a 1-15 season. It's like watching the two months of a junkie's life before he goes on the 17 week bender that will leave his broken, emaciated carcass propped up against a dumpster in an alley.

Cleveland Browns at Oakland Raiders

Cleveland. I have a story to tell everyone. Ever since Derek Anderson's 5 touchdown performance Ian has been consistently trying to pawn him off on my in our fantasy league. And that's just insulting. Yes, I know my quarterbacks are Brett Favre and Kyle Boller. But still, shame on you, Ian. Shame on you.

New York Giants at Washington Redskins

Why do you keep doing this to me? For some reason I think the Giants are good. Maybe it's the uniforms. They do have nice ones. It's high time I realize that they aren't good. And Washington, somehow in someway, is better. If Brett Favre and Tony Romo can pick apart the Giants defense like they did then Jason Campbell will throw for 600 yards and 12 touchdowns this week. All to Santana Moss. And I will win my fantasy game by just starting him and no one else. So it has been said, so it shall be done.


I'll jump right into the picks after I say this: I successfull traded Derek Anderson today.

St. Louis Rams @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Two lousy teams here. As I foreshadowed last week, the Rams are clearly on their way down. This is the first time they opened 0-2 since Kurt Warner's squad tried to rebound from the Superbowl loss against New England. Do you think the Rams are starting to regret giving an enormous contract to a system quarterback who has a 54% completion rate after two games in St. Louis' dome? Now they go on the road. Not that the Bucs are any good, but at least they beat a talented New Orleans team last week. Pick: Tampa Bay

Cincinatti Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks: Two talented offensive teams, and the Bengals probably have the better offense. However, the Seahawks have two things going for them. One, they're playing in one of the more advantageous home fields in football. Two, they didn't give up 51 points to the Cleveland Browns. This postgame is loaded with "The Bengals have given up 90 points in the last two weeks" potential. Pick: Seattle

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Denver Broncos: Denver is without a doubt the luckiest team in football over the first two weeks...except for the Chargers and Jets, who are lucky the Patriots didn't beat them by 35 points each. I fully expect this to be a close game. And I fully expect the Broncos to once again come out on top. Pick: Denver

Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons: I'm sick of people trying to be optimistic about the Falcons. They're simply not that good, especially their offense, defense, and special teams. Stop picking them, everyone; even if they're at home. Word to the wise: wait until they win a game before picking Atlanta. Pick: Carolina

Week 2 Picks

First, standings after one week:

Standings.....GB
Ian 3-1.......... --
Saj 2-2.......... 1


Now to take that lead wire-to-wire. Saj isn't making it easy, this week giving me three very tough games.

Houston Texans @ Carolina Panthers: I rank this as the third toughest game to pick this week, though I'm truly divided. I'm very happy for Houston to start out with a win last week to energize a near dormant franchise, but let's remember it was against one of the few teams that's worse than them (Kansas City) and it was in Houston. Now they go visit a Panthers team that's coming off a hard fought win in St. Louis' dome. Simply, the Panthers beat the better team in Week 1 and this game is in Charlotte. Pick: Carolina

San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams: This is the second toughest game to pick. For the past half decade, this would have been a no-brainer, as the Niners have been mired in mediocrity while St. Louis is playing meaningful football every December and sometimes January. Throw in the fact that the Rams are at home, and it should be a gimme. Still, these two franchises are going in opposite directions. St. Louis is fulfilling the second half of the "what goes up" idiom, while San Francisco is putting together a talented young core with a competant head coach. Furthermore, the 49ers, coming off a win against Arizona to open the season, now have the opportunity to be the clear-cut #2 team in the NFC West. That's quite a motivator. Pick: San Francisco

Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions: And here's the crapshoot. I have no idea who will win this game, nor do I ever when these two teams play. Neither of them have been good this millenium. They're dome teams. They both have shaky quarterbacks, head coaches, and a terrible track record in big games. So when they play each other? It's like watching Cosmo Kramer and Rob Petry race through an obstacle course. (There's a strong chance many of you are too young to get that joke.) Anyway, time to fall back on the maxim. When in doubt, take the home team. Pick: Detroit

New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens: Annnnd easy money. Another gift from Saj. Pick: Baltimore


Those are the games you're giving me? Seriously? This could legitimately be my first 4-0 week. I am very, VERY excited.

Green Bay Packers at New York Giants

I have Brett Favre on my fantasy team and even I'm not optimistic about him against a Giants team that gave up 45 points to Tony fucking Romo. GIANTS

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals

Really? No, seriously. Did you even watch last week's Cardinals - Niners game? HAWKS

Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins

No. COWBOYS

Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles

Again. No. EAGLES

Football Friday: Week 2

Let's just call week one a tie.

Ian, your games:

Houston Texans at Carolina Panthers (Sunday, 1:00)
San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Jets at Baltimore Ravens (Sunday, 4:15)

Au contraire, Saj, but week 1 was a perfect representation of last year. My 3-1 to your 2-2 was just like old times. I was overwhelmed with deja vu.

Let's see if you can break the pattern:

Green Bay Packers at New York Giants (Sunday, 1:00)
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals (Sunday, 4:05)
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins (Sunday, 4:05)
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles (Monday, 8:30)

You see I returned your act of gamesmanship by not giving you the Pats game.

Football: Week 1 Recap

Saj, I'd like some of your thoughts on the NFL's opening week. Do you agree that:

The class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts, who are fungible as football's Big Three, and then a line is drawn. After that lie the Bengals (making four AFC teams in the top 4) and Seattle and then another line to complete a Top 5. Agree or disagree?

The New England Patriots have the best offense in the NFL. Agree or disagree?

The New York Jets aren't as bad as 38-14 would imply. Agree or disagree?

The New Orleans Saints will not have a down year, they just ran into a top AFC team in Week 1. Agree or disagree?

Finally, which team, previously thought of as a playoff contender if not a playoff lock, is most in danger of becoming 0-2?


On the class of the NFL: Yes the class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts (in no particular order, but really, fuck the Colts). I disagree with the Bengals as number four only because it's possible that could be the third best team in their division (yes, I know they beat the Ravens last night but that game was a dented Todd Heap shoulder pad away from going into overtime). And the Seahawks will have to show me something special to earn a top five spot in my cold heart. Watch out for: THE STEELERS.

On Patriots offense being the best: Agree, tentatively. If the offensive line looks that good all season, then yes. On some of those passing plays Tom Brady had so much time in the pocket he could have met a supermodel, impregnated her, and witnessed the birth of his second child all before releasing the ball. Maroney still does like to dance a little more than he should, but Sammy Morris is a f-ing hammer and what else can I say about the revamped receiving corps that the Randy Moss and Wes Welker tattoos on my asscheeks haven't already said?

On Jets maybe sorta not completely sucking: No, they aren't that bad. But I will tell you who is. Thomas Jones. My G-d, I haven't seen someone do the old two yards and fall over move since Jamal Anderson. Jones was literally running straight into his offensive linemen and then ricocheting to the ground. That has to be more difficult than actually avoiding them, right?

On Saints: Yes they ran into a good team, at home, playing great football. BUT, the Saints don't have the easy schedule they had a year ago. And their defense is terrible. The ten wins they had last year could easily turn into eight.

Most in danger of going 0-2: The Baltimore Ravens

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL: Week 1

Back when Ian and I decided to institute a moratorium on posting for our crappy blog, in my mind we secretly decided to resurrect Football Friday when the time came. And since the season got off to a vomit-inducing, let's-all-jerk-off-to-Peyton-Manning start last night, I'd say the time has come.

Football Friday works like this: we give each other four games and we have to pick the outright winners. Simple. Ian, as you were the victor last year give me your best four from this weekend.


Yes, Saj, I was the victor. Just out of curiosity, what does that make you? Maybe this will help: Let's take a look at the final standings last season before we goofed around for Week 17.

Standings.... GB
Ian 28-20...... -- (winner)
Saj 21-27...... 7 (?????)

I just can't think of what goes there. Any ideas? Anyway, time to defend the crown. Here are your four games this weekend:

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)



Whatever, man. Whatever. For you:

Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers (Sunday, 4:15)

TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES!


I am walking out of this dome in 17 weeks. I just hope I'm still in one piece. Let's get this party started.

Denver @ Buffalo: Is anyone expecting Buffalo to be better this year? When was the last time they did something to improve their team? They drafted Losman when they had Bledsoe. They drafted McGahee when they had Travis Henry. They haven't been nearly as good since making those moves, and now Losman is a bottom tier starter and neither McGahee nor Henry are even on the roster. Tough year for the Bills coming up, especially playing in the Pats' and Jets' division. We're talking 4-5 wins. And this isn't one of them. Pick: Denver

Miami @ Washington: P.U. What's that smell? Oh, it's these two teams. I'm at a crossroads. This match up is a toss up, but it contradicts my two crossroads tendencies (1. When in doubt, go with the home team; 2. When in doubt, go with the AFC team). I gotta go Miami, if for no other reason than A) The weather is still warm, B) While these two teams break even as two poor defensive squads, the Dolphins are more talented on the offensive end, and C) Clinton Portis is on my fantasy team, and is therefore due to pull a hamstring early in the second quarter. Pick: Miami

Kansas City @ Houston: Man, that smell is REALLY getting strong now. Hey Saj, thanks for the worst game of the weekend. I say Matt Schaub and the steadily ascending Houston Texans are more excited to play football than the steadily declining Kansas City Chiefs. If the Texans win this game, it'll be the first time in franchise history that they'll be over .500. And I have no idea if that's true, as I did no research to back that up. Pick: Houston

Chicago @ San Diego: I've always counted you as a friend, Saj. You're a nice guy. This is how you prove it. An NFC team with a bad offense vs. a well rounded AFC team that has the best talent in the NFL. And oh yeah, the AFC team is hosting. Pick: San Diego

Go get 'em, pal. You're up.


Gonna be quick.

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings
Tavaris Jackson vs. Joey Harrington. Not exactly Montana v. Elway. I'm going with the Falcons here for a number of reasons. 1) I flipped a coin. 2) Bobby Petrino sounds like the name of a race car driver. 3) Nothing heals the gaping wounds left open from the Vick saga like a W against a bunch of guys in purple who like taking cruises together.

Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
Nope. Not falling for it. I'm not going to talk myself into Daunte Culpepper. No way. But Jon Kitna, sure. I know that's irrational, but whatever. GO LIONS!

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Have you seen the new iPods? They're pretty awesome.

Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Should I take all road teams? Maybe. Okay, I'm doing it. Cincinnati isn't that good. They really aren't. As yes this marks the second consecutive season where I have Steve McNair on my fantasy team. Next year, I'm just going to burn the money. Save myself the time.

Which commissioner would you want to be least?

Saj, these three commissioners are seeing some sort of scandal in their league.

MLB, Bud Selig, has to deal with an unlikeable lawbreaker breaking the greatest record in the sport.
NBA, David Stern, has to deal with a NBA ref who bet on games he reffed.
NFL, Roger Goodell, has one of his marquee players torturing dogs.

Saj, which commissioner would you want to be least and why?


Bud Selig. At least David Stern and Roger Goodell have tangible problems to deal with. Sure, Stern will have to answer questions about his league's credibility. And sure, Goodell will have to continue to pretend that the psychology of football does not lead to unruly behavior off the field. But Bud Selig? He'll have to sit there and watch a man he despises break one of baseball's most cherished records. All of this while Bonds' ex-mistress poses for Playboy because he reneged on paying her the hush money he promised her. And Selig can do nothing about it.

I don't envy any of these men. Well, except for Goodell who is relatively young and rules the most valuable sports league in the world with the iron fist of Zeus. And maybe Stern, a little. The wall of his office must be plastered with pictures of him shaking hands with ridiculously tall black men wearing ill-fitting NBA caps. But not Selig. Nobody likes him. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have his job. But I'd also have to look like this AND pretend I don't still own the Brewers.

Two week vacation over

Saj, should Bud Selig attend Giants games until Barry Bonds breaks the record? Should Hank Aaron?


No. And here's why: I don't care. The closest thing I can approximate to Aaron and/or Maris breaking Ruth's records (in my twenty or so years of baseball viewing) would be Ripken breaking Gehrig's streak and McGwire hitting number 62. And this does not feel like that. Remember the pomp that surrounded McGwire as he circled the bases after hitting the most anemic homerun in his career? I cared. I cared, a lot. But I, like many fans, really don't give a s*** what Bonds does. The argument for Aaron to not attend is clear. Why should he put himself out to celebrate a man he cares nothing for? And if no one cares, and Bonds has the Feds breathing down his fat neck, why should Bud Selig support someone who could, in the next year or two, be charged with a crime in which cheating in baseball is implicit.

That being said, I'll be watching when Bonds goes for 756. Swearing at the television and all.


I agree with your personal feelings on the matter. I'll be cursing his breaking of the record. But Bud Selig is the commissioner of baseball. He always goes to these types of things. A non-attendence from Selig, however, is a critique of his own league. Steroids was happening under his nose. Either he was ignorant, incompetant, or dismissive during the steroid era. To then not show up for one of the roid-heads when they break a record is close to hypocritical.

What's your thoughts on Bonds being one short or tied when the Giants go on the road for six games next week? Do the Giants sit Bonds for all those games?


I don't think sitting Bonds for those games is the right thing to do. Obviously almost everyone in America would prefer it (including me) and the Giants will probably do it, but to sit him for four or five games dimishes the achievement. To sit at 754 and say to everyone in baseball that "I want to break this record on my own terms" is disrespectful. Hitting a homerun in a major league baseball game is not an easy thing to do, especially not 755+ times. The Giants and Bonds should not put themselves in a position where they have a choice on the matter.

That being said, I hope they play Bonds just so I can see him try his hardest to surreptitiously sabotage himself during every at-bat until he returns to San Francisco.

MLB: Second Half Predictions

Ian, before we get to our hare-brained second half predictions, let's assess last night's All Star game- particularly the end. Let's pretend that you're Tony La Russa. Let's say yesterday morning you woke up in your hotel (rising from the hyperbolic chamber in which you sleep) ordered a coffee and a croissant from room service, turned the television to the weather channel and stepped out on your balcony to breath in the fresh San Franciscan air. And then you said to yourself, "Tony, you handsome sexagenarian, if by some stroke of serendipity your National League squad finds itself down by one run with the bases loaded, two outs in the ninth inning, and career league-average hitter Aaron Rowand at the plate, by gum, you will let that Rowand boy hit. Sure you could pinch hit the best righthanded hitter in the game, Albert Pujols, and, yes, Pujols is to Rowand as Optimus Prime is to a Chevy Silverado, but why give the National League the best chance to win the game when you can lose the game AND piss off your best player at the same time?" I'm assuming that question is no longer rhetorical because that's exactly what Tony La Russa did. Why, Tony? Why?


I was watching the game with buddies Greg and Pete, and the lot of us were befuddled. We assumed that Pujols was injured and LaRussa didn't want to play his own player in an quasi-exhibition game. However, from what I've read after the game, Pujols was ready to go. Therefore, LaRussa not only robbed the NL from breaking a 9-now-10-year losing streak, not only did he rob the NL from a chance at homefield advantage in the World Series, but he also robbed us, Major League Baseball fans, from perhaps the most exciting All-Star at bat of this generation! And for that, he should not be forgiven.

If you want the answer as to why he did this, I'm sure you already read LaRussa's cockamamie excuse as to Pujols' versatility in extra innings... but since when has a manager managed for extra innings when he was DOWN ONE RUN in the ninth. A tie game is one thing, but down a run in the ninth or the bottom of an extra inning? Does Terry Francona let David Ortiz run if they're down one in the 10th? Not a chance. He gets a pinch runner. You need that run to win. I mean, managers often pinch run their second catcher in an extra innings without another catcher on the roster because they need that run to keep playing. You figure out who's playing where AFTER you extend the game.

And if the answer to all these criticisms are, "It's just an exhibition," than that is precisely the reason as to why the move should have been made. It would have been fun to see a couple guys out of position in an All-Star Game. And if the answer to that is, "The game counts, no fooling around," than Albert Pujols must see an at bat there. End of story.

I rest my case.

Saj, get us started on second half predictions.


You know, I was all set to do this: internet research, lots of reading and statistics, but I really don't want to. In lieu of any of that, here are some arbitrary statements about the next three months of baseball.

1. The Philadelphia Phillies will make the playoffs. Chase Utley will hit 45 more homeruns, the last 15 or so he'll will out of the park using only his mind and his crystal clear blue eyes. Girls you can have Cole Hamels and Grady Sizemore, the Chaser is all mine. Oh, and Brett Myers will remember that he's f****** Brett Myers. Not the beating his wife part but the good at pitching part.

2. Everyone will jump off the "Detroit Tigers are the best team in baseball" bandwagon when Curtis Granderson (of blogging fame) breaks his wrist in August and the damn thing crashes into a telephone pole. Lucky for them, the Los Angeles Angels bandwagon will pick them up when the Angels make an ill-advised trade for a hitter they don't need. None of this will prevent both these teams from being obliterated in the postseason by Boston. Angels Note: Reggie Willits will end the season hitting below .280.

3. Unless it has already happened, Ichiro will not sign an extension with Seattle. Please be aware that the rules of time do not apply to this statement. So, technically, I can't be wrong.

4. Barry Bonds will hit homeruns 755 and 756 in the same day and as he crosses homeplate the second time he will remove a mask to reveal that he is actually Mark McGwire and the real Barry Bonds has been locked in a basement since 1999. McGwire will go on to tell the media that he got the idea from the 1986 comedy "Soul Man" where a white student masquerades as an African American so that he may receive a scholarship to Harvard. McGwire will also say that he "would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids and their damn dog."

5. The Cleveland Indians will issue an "Indian of the month" 2008 calendar as a giveaway on the last day of the season. While Grady Sizemore will be Mr. April and Travis Hafner will be Mr. May, C.C. Sabathia will be Mr. August, Mr. September, and Mr. October. The joke here is that C.C. Sabathia is fat.

6. The San Diego Padres will win the NL Pennant by sweeping the Phillies prompting Fox to go into panic mode when the Mariners take a 3-1 lead on the Red Sox in the ALCS. Before Game 5, a ski-mask clad Chris Myers will take a lead pipe to Ichiro's knee destroying Seattle's morale and saving postseason ratings from West Coast irrelevance. Ichiro will silently lament not signing that ridiculous contract the Mariners offered him back in July but then he will smile wryly because he appreciates the irony. Unless, of course, it has already happened.

Ian?


How in Mike Greenwell's name am I supposed to counter those rock solid, take-it-to-the- bank predictions? I mean, the don't even have to play the rest of the regular season anymore. Saj has figured it out for us.

Anyway, instead of building to my World Series prediction, I will start there (kind of) and work my way back. I'll start with this:

The two most important players in determining the World Series participants are the same two most important players of the 2004 season and playoffs - Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling. Simply put, those two players determine how far their respective teams advance in the playoffs.

In the case of Pedro and the New York Mets, if he looks as good as he and everyone else who has seen him says he is, the Mets will be playing in the 2007 World Series. If he's not, and especially if the Metropolitans cannot pick up another starter better than Tom Glavine, than it's the San Diego Padres in the Series. The Mets lineup is the best in the National League. All they need is two quality starters which they currently don't have. It's as simple as that.

Verdict for NL Champion
A good or better Pedro = New York
An average or worse Pedro = San Diego
Prediction - San Diego Padres, behind Jake Peavy's 2 wins and a win from David Wells and someone else, and thanks to lackluster performances from the Mets pitching staff, are in the World Series.

In the case of Schilling and the Boston Red Sox, if Schilling returns to at least 80% of the typical playoff Curt Schilling, the Red Sox are going to win the World Series. If not, Josh Beckett and Daisuke Matsuzaka are not enough to topple the Detroit Tigers.

Verdict for AL Champion
A good or better Schilling = Boston
An average or worse Schilling = Detroit
Prediction - Schilling, at forty years of age and decidedly out of shape, does not bounce back like he once could. Detroit matches up very well with the BoSox and takes the series in a classic seven games.

Rounding out the playoffs - Milwaukee falls apart, and a sizzling second half from Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, and the Chicago Cubs' lineup gives the Cubs the NL Central. The Brew Crew and the Dodgers battle it out for the wild card, but the Dodgers' experience is victorious and earn the honor of once again traveling to New York in the first round... where they will again lose.

Over in the AL, the Yankees do make an August and September push, taking advantage of many games with Tampa, Baltimore, and Toronto. However, this postseason will give way to many "Out like the Yankees in October" jokes, as the Cleveland Indians return to the playoffs as the AL wildcard. The Tigers start their World Series run with a drubbing over the AL West Champion Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

That's it. Predictions locked in. I'll be sure to post this link again in October.

MLB: First Half Awards

(we're playing with the colors, bear with us)

All right, Saj, the All-Star Break has arrived. Time for some first half awards.

MVP

NL

National League MVP to date: Prince Fielder
Reasoning: The Milwaukee Brewers are in first place. The Milwaukee Brewers. Are in first place. Formerly consistent losers, the Milwaukee Brewers are in first place. Not only are they in first place, but at 4.5 games, they have the largest division lead in in the National League, and second largest division lead in the majors after the Red Sox domination of the AL East. Therefore, the Brewers' surprising success combined with their relative comfort on their perch makes me want to search their squad for the to-date NL MVP. Their best hitter, Prince Fielder, is headed to his first All-Star Game. He leads the NL in homeruns and slugging, he's second in RBI, and he's fifth in runs.
National League MVP at the end of the year: Carlos Beltran
Reasoning: The Brewers are going to lose their division lead. The Mets are going to pull away with the best record in the National League, and they're going to do it because their stud center-fielder will heat up like an oven.

Saj? NL MVP?

Completely in agreement. At this point in the season, Prince Fielder gets the award. By the end of the season watch out for the following two guys: Chipper Jones and Chase Utley. Jones is quietly putting together one of his best seasons and Utley is on pace to set new career highs in RBIs and Total Bases. While I can't see Beltran winning the award (if it's a Met, I think it'll be Wright or Reyes) I do think the NL MVP will come out of the East.

AL

American League MVP to date: Alex Rodriguez. I know the whole "the MVP has to play for a winning team" argument, but what Alex Rodriguez is doing this year is ridiculous. And once he's got his filthy hands around another MVP award it will be that much sweeter when he opts out and leaves New York for Chicago or LA. Go ahead, Ian. Make the argument for Magglio Ordonez.

American League MVP at the end of the year: Rodriguez. Ordonez's average will drop like a French hooker's panties on Bastille Day. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my "Dennis Miller would make that joke" joke of the day.

American League MVP to date: Vladimir Guerrero

Reasoning: In 2003, Alex Rodriguez won the AL MVP while playing for the last place Texas Rangers. Tell me, Saj. How valuable is a guy whose team finished in last place? I mean, if he wasn't on their team, what place might they have come in? LasteR? Besides, aren't teams always better when he leaves?

The American League MVP to date is not Arod, nor is it Magglio Ordonez (and if it were Maggs, I'd have to pick someone else after your snide comment). The AL MVP to date is Vladimir Guerrero. The reason? The Tigers and Yankees have a MUCH better supporting cast to surround their best hitters. On the Tigers, Gary Sheffield, Placido Polanco, Carlos Guillen, and Pudge Rodriguez are all having very good seasons; even Curtis Granderson and Sean Casey bring something to the table. The Yankees simply aren't performing well, and I can't help but think of Arod was released today, the Yanks would go on a huge tear without him. The Angels after Vlad Guerrero do not have the supporting casts of the other division leaders in the AL, and yet they are within a half game of both the Tigers and the Red Sox for the league's best record. Thank Vlad.

American League MVP at the end of the year: Magglio Ordonez.

Reasoning: I suspect that Detroit Tigers will end up with the best record in baseball, and Magglio's great season will be why. Best player on the best team is usually a safe bet.

Cy Young Award

AL

American League Cy Young to date: Dan Haren

Reasoning: Just last week, Saj and I predicted that Josh Beckett would be names AL All-Star Game starter. A reader emailed us and begged to differ, stating it'd be Dan Haren. He was right. We were wrong. But he doesn't have his own blog, so here's my chance to rectify it. Dan Haren's ERA (2.30) leads the league. I've always been a fan of the lowest ERA winning the Cy Young, unless there's a reeeeeal good case made in other categories by one other pitcher (usually K's, Wins, WHIP). Since Haren is second in the AL in WHIP (1.00!), and fourth in wins, I can ignore his paltry ninth place ranking in K's.

American League Cy Young at the end of the year: Josh Beckett

Reasoning: Because he's going to get to the magic number: 20+ wins.

Ian, you ignorant slut. There's no way you can ignore a season like ARod's. No way. At least you're right about Haren being the Cy Young Award winner thus far. As for Haren's second half, he will fade and fade spectacularly. In his place will rise the most usual of suspects: Johan Santana. As I said in the previous post: "...I think Haren ends the season with an ERA above 3.50. And I think Santana drops his ERA another half run and wins the Cy Young Award..." It's pretty much fact that when I quote myself I'm right.

NL

National League Cy Young to date: Jake Peavy. Brad Penny has more wins, Chris Young has a lower ERA, but Peavy ranks second in both and leads the league in K, K/9, and awesomeness.

National League Cy Young at the end of the year: Jake Peavy. He's very good at what he does. Honorable Mention: Cole Hamels.

National League Cy Young to date: Peavy

Reasoning: Because he's the best pitcher in the National League to date.

National League Cy Young at the end of the year: Pedro Martinez

Reasoning: Just kidding. Jake Peavy

Good, sensible answer.

Rookie of the Year

NL

NL ROY to date: Much has been said about Hunter Pence of the Houston Astros and for good reason. The guy is leading the NL in batting (.342) and he runs kinda funny (evidence here). A great case can be made for Ryan Braun of the Brewers who is batting .350 in 40 games with 11 homers, but I'm giving the midseason nod to Pence because he's played 24 more games and Sportscenter anchors are wont to crack up during his awkward fielding highlights.

NL ROY at the end of the year: Braun. What he's done so far, extrapolated over a whole season is a 45 homer, 130 RBI season with an OPS+ of 173. And there's no reason why he won't continue to beat the crap out of major league pitching. Braun slugged .726 in the 113 at-bats he took in AAA this season (his only at-bats ever in AAA) and when he was drafted in 2005 he was considered to be the consensus best athlete available. Others drafted that year: Justin Upton, Alex Gordon, Ryan Zimmerman, Troy Tulowitzki, Jacoby Ellsbury, Craig Hansen, and Mike Pelfrey. Okay, the last two were jokes but those first five include a former National High School player of the year and the second-coming of George Brett. An infield of Ryan Braun, J.J. Hardy, Rickie Weeks, and Prince Fielder; this is like God rewarding Brewers fans for their patience. Imagine if Yi Jianlian and his agents relent, we're talking a duel sport revival in the "Cream City" (yes, that's an actual nickname for Milwaukee). Side Yi Note: Ian, if ten years ago you told me an NBA team would have a starting front court featuring a Chinese player and a big white guy from Australia I probably would have lost a lot of respect for you.

Saj, the thing about our relationship is, you never respect me until ten years after I say something. And since we've known each other since Fall 1998, we're just over a year from me earning your respect. I can't wait.

NL ROY to date: It's Pence. No rookie has any business leading the National League in hitting. Hitting takes too much trial and error to do well, especially at the major league level. A rookie beating out the likes of Matt Holliday, Chipper Jones, Chase Utley, Miguel Cabrera, and Todd Helton is out of this world impressive.

NL ROY at the end of the year: If he ends up winning the batting title, it HAS to be Pence. If he doesn't, The Next Big Thing Ryan Braun will take it home.

AL

AL ROY to date: Can I have a three way tie between three Red Sox? If yes, I award the ROY to Hideki Okajima, Daisuke Matsuzaka, and Dustin Pedroia. If not, I'll single out Okajima. In my estimation, he's the MVP of the Red Sox this year. Think about that. A middle reliever is the MVP on a team with the best record in the American League. He deserves it though, a 0.83 ERA, a 0.83 WHIP, he's holding opponents to a .191 Slugging Percentage (!!), and the only homerun he's given up all year was to the first batter he faced in his major league career.

AL ROY at the end of the year: Daisuke Matsuzaka has had a phenomenal second half to the first half of the season. He's pitching like an experienced veteran and has the potential to be the best starter in the AL in the second half of the season. That probably makes him the AL Rookie of the Year.

AL ROY to date: As valuable as Okajima has been to the Red Sox, I can't see giving the ROY award to someone who has thrown just 43 innings. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Okajima. In fact, I think I'm going to get 1,000 "Okajima is my Oka-jigga" t-shirts printed so I can sell them out of a box on Yawkey Way. That being said, and apologies to Reggie Willits and Dustin Pedroia, I have to give the midseason ROY to Daisuke. Before getting touched up by the Tigers in his last start, he went six starts giving up a total of six earned runs and striking out 51, lowering his ERA a whole run in the process.

AL ROY at the end of the year: I really want to give this award to Pedroia, but he's not on pace to collect the raw numbers (runs, RBIs, HRs) that people salivate over. If this last month and a half is any indicator of the future, it's going to be Daisuke, who looks like he could also make a serious run at the Cy Young.

Pence-Braun Note: Not to blow up your spot, Ian, but while Pence is leading the league with a .342 average, Matt Holliday is right behind him at .341, and Pence's OBP is a low (for his batting his average) .367. He's walked ten times in 64 games. As I've said before: Hell, even Bill Mueller's won a batting title.



One more knock on Bill Mueller and I'll have your balls in my Red Sox 2004 World Series Champion coffee mug. Mueller drove in Roberts, Saj. MUELLER DROVE IN ROBERTS!!

NBA: Celtics trade fallout

Remember when the Celtics traded for and reacquired Antoine Walker in the middle of the 2003-2004 season? At the time, the Celtics were slumping and might not have made the playoffs. But they made the trade, added instant offense, started winning the majority of their games, and made the playoffs. Good trade, right?

Well, the C's lost in the first round of the playoffs to a mediocre Indiana Pacers team (I attended Game 7, which they lost by 27 points). They ended up with the 15th pick in the draft, usually a spot where you will not find an impact player. Surprisingly, Al Jefferson fell to them. I remember watching the draft with my buddy Greg and we were praying that he would last that long but severely doubted it. Yet there he was.

However, most times, a stud player like Al Jefferson does not fall that low. That means teams that make first-round exits rarely have a chance to improve themselves. As stated in yesterday's Seattle Supersonics post, a team needs to know when to sacrifice the short term for the long term. Danny Ainge's Walker trade (the second one) set back the franchise 2-3 years.

The obvious question is: Has Danny Ainge repeated his mistake? I've got my thoughts on it Saj, but I'm dying to hear yours.


None of this is as bad as the Sebastian Telfair trade last year. Chew on that for a moment.

Anyway, I like Ray Allen and I wasn't crazy about any of the guys we could have gotten at five so the deal isn't terrible. Not exactly Hollinger-esque basketball analysis, but whatever. Ray Allen was awesome at Connecticut, he was awesome in "He Got Game" (sorta), and I'm pretty sure that both he and Kenny Lofton appeared on the same episode of The Wayans Brothers. What this trade does is put the Celtics in the playoffs. They're still not contenders, but, realistically, Oden or Durant were the only two players that would have cemented the foundation of this team. For all the Garnett and Marion trade rumors they weren't the players who would get us out of the East.

Oh, basketball.


The Ray Allen deal is exciting from a Celtics perspective and here's why: They'll probably win the Atlantic Division. This means a shot at the #3 seed (or #4, with the new playoff seeding rules) and guaranteed homecourt advantage in the first round. In other words, this means the inside track to the conference semi-finals and being one of the last eight teams still playing. Essentially, this trade makes them better than a one-and-done playoff team.

Boston immediately becomes, without a doubt, the best offensive Celtics team since #33 roamed the court. This is as strong of a 1-4 as you can hope for in this league, and probably the best 1-4 in the Eastern Conference (which is kind of like being the sanest person at the asylum). Rajon Rondo runs a terrific point guard and plays fantastic on the ball defense on the opposing point guard (Think a young Jason Kidd...now if he could only learn how to shoot like J. Kidd never did). Ray Allen at the two must always be guarded, which frees up room for two things. First, Paul Pierce at the three has more room to penetrate and either score or dish. Second, Al Jefferson at the four, who will command double teams all season, can only be double teamed at the expense of leaving open Allen or Pierce.

The diversity of scoring options for the Celtics means that Rondo and the center position don't even have to be scoring threats. If they can make lay ups, that's good enough.

Okay, enough offense talk, because we already know this team can average 105 points a night. The problem with this trade is that they could very well give up 106. (Think 2006-2007 Wizards.) The three great scorers I just mentioned are not good defenders...especially Ray Allen. Trading Delonte West and the potentially defensive minded #5 pick meant the only defense left on the Celtics roster was a point guard who can't shoot (Rondo), a shooting guard coming off major knee surgery (Tony Allen), and a decrepit shot-blocking center whose most attractive quality is that he's in the last year of his contract (Theo Ratliff).

This concerns me. Every good team has a good perimeter defender. Bowen, Prince, Bell, Howard. You need someone to slow down the other team's best player. For the Celtics, it's Tony Allen, but the two highest paid players on the team play his position. Not only is he coming back from surgery, but there's not enough perimeter minutes to go around. I think you'll see the Celtics go small a LOT this upcoming year, with Pierce (a good rebounder) seeing time at power forward and Jefferson sliding to center. And this just makes the interior defense that much worse.

Fortunately, their awesome offensive fire power is good enough to win the Atlantic. However, without defensive talent or defensive depth (And I didn't even touch their questionable coach), they have no shot to compete for an NBA Championship, nor did this trade put them in any position to do so down the road.

Saj, would you like to see the Celts make one more deal this offseason or go forward with this squad?