Football Friday: Week 10

Editors' note: Every week, these two idiots will play a Pick 'Em NFL game. The object is for each editor to pick four seemingly even NFL matchups from the upcoming weekend, challenging the other pick to the winners. A running record will be tallied. Feel free to play along at home. Leave comments with your own picks if you want to go on the record. Standings (Last week in parenthesis).

Standings (Week 8 in parenthesis)
Ian 18-10 (2-2)
Saj 11-17 (1-3)

To our loyal readers (and by that I mean Ian and myself) I would like to apologize for not posting a "Football Friday" for Week 9. Ian was busy volunteering with autistic children and I had to go on a business trip (being a bikini inspector is fun and all, but when beach season in Rio starts it can be very tiring).

As a consequence, Ian couldn't use Week 9, and all the havoc-wreaking games that happened, as a means to increase his 7 game lead over me. Let's see if he can capitalize on my NFL retardation this week:

San Francisco at Detroit (Sunday, 1:00)

San Diego at Cincinnati (Sunday, 1:00)

St. Louis at Seattle (Sunday, 4:15)

Chicago at NY Giants (Sunday, 8:15)


Never fear, Saj. If you go 3-1 for three straight weeks, you're back to .500 for the season. But you need to dedicate more time to the NFL! I still don't understand why you don't quit your bikini expecting job so we can get more blogging done.

Here are your four games for Week 10:

Kansas City at Miami (Sunday, 1:00). Your precious Dolphins at home against a bad road team.

Green Bay at Minnesota (Sunday, 1:00). The NFC Central. Love it or leave it. Welp, see ya later.

Baltimore at Tennessee (Sunday, 1:00). *Ian rubs his hands together.* Inside your head.

New Orleans at Pittsburgh (Sunday, 4:15). The feel good vs. the feel bad stories of the year.

Before I get to my picks, ESPN.com's Buster Olney just reported that Boston Red Sox may have the top bid for the rights to negotiate with Daisuke Matsuzaka. What does this mean? Probably nothing since this is all speculation.

I am wary of the scouts who say Matsuzaka is a top of the rotation kind of guy but given how he pitched in the WBC and how people temper their expectations of Japanese players after Irabu, Nomo, and (Kaz) Matsui, I'm inclined to believe them. Plus he is the only living man who can throw a GYROBALL. Positively exciting!

From a competitive balance standpoint: some team was going to overpay for Matsuzaka, why not the Red Sox (in part to keep him out of the Bronx)? And if Matsuzaka proves to be what he promises to be, you have a super marketable Asian player that will increase your team's international profile dramatically. Just as Ichiro did for the Mariners (not suggesting Matsuzaka is as good as Ichiro, he may not even be as good as Barry Zito). In the end, this is probably just a convoluted ploy to keep Matsuzaka from ever making it to any major league club this season. God bless this ridiculous posting system.

On to the picks:

MIAMI over Kansas City

I've gone too far into this season without picking against the Dolphins. Why start now? This cowboy is not changing horses midstream, that's for sure. Plus I'm still bitter that the one week the Chiefs get blown out is the same week in which I pick them to win. They had Ben Roethlisberger IN ARROWHEAD and he tore them to shreads? I am convinced the Chiefs lost to spite me. Will the Chiefs win this week? Probably.

MINNESOTA over Green Bay

The Packers lost to Buffalo last week. The Vikings beat Buffalo in Week 4. By the transitive property of equality, the Vikings will beat the Packers. Click here to see why my logic is unsound. I just don't see Chester Taylor not running for lots of yards on the Packers defense. I don't not see it.

BALTIMORE over Tennessee

Does anyone think that Steve McNair, who has something to prove in this game, is going to break down in tears screaming "Why don't you love me?!" to Jeff Fischer after the game? Me neither. He'll be a stonecold killer this game. Stonecold. Aside from losing out on all the money the Titans were set to pay him this year, he has to be happy with his situation in Baltimore. They essentially run the "Steve, Don't F*** Up" offense, relying on their defense to do most of their scoring. So listen closely Steve: don't f*** up.

PITTSBURGH over New Orleans

I see what you're doing here, I do. The Steelers are too good to be playing this poorly and the Saints are too bad to be playing this well. When in doubt make a whimsical pick and stick by it. As John Clayton says on ESPN.com. "The question facing him [Saints coach Sean Payton] is whether he's catchin the beleaguered Steelers at the right time or the wrong time." Thanks, John, way to go out on a limb here.

Thems my picks and I'm sticking to them.


I'll go on the record right now: Matsuzaka's career will pattern Hideo Nomo's. Watch for a solid rookie year, followed by a continual declination in success. I wish we could remember this prediciton five years from now. The question remains: Do I want the Sox to sign him? Only if A) The Yanks would get him otherwise AND B) It's for less than 10 million dollars a year.

Picks, to hold or expand my lead over the hapless Saj's:

Game 1: San Francisco @ Detroit: I feel like every week you give me some sort of crap matchup involving two crap teams playing like crap. Luckily for me, the crappy Lions have three things going for them: They're the better team, they're playing better football, and they're playing at home. I owe my success to never outhinking myself like Coach Belichick last Sunday. Pick: Detroit.

Game 2: San Diego @ Cincinnati: Do you remember in the first three weeks of the season when I called Cincinatti the best team in football to that point? And then I picked them to lose at home against the Patriots in Week 4. Clearly, I hold way too much power over the universe. I've received two emails from Cincinatti urging me to pick the Bengals to turn their season around, but I'd kind of like to see Chad Johnson flip out so they trade him to New England in the offseason. The Chargers are a very good team, though I worry about their longterm potential this season until Rivers learns how to throw to Antonio Gates (on both my fantasy teams). Handing off to LT is easy against the bottom two-thirds of the league...hell it's easy against anyone, I suppose. But it may not work as well against the Broncos, Ravens, and Patriots of the world. Against Cincinatti? It will work just fine. Pick: San Diego.

Game 3: St. Louis at Seattle: As far as I read it, still no Alexander, still no Mr. Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Result: Rams get a lead then Stephen Jackson finishes at +175 AYP. Pick: St. Louis.

Game 4: Chicago at NY Giants: Very tough game. VERY tough. Time to break it down, who has the advantage in these areas:
Offense: Giants
Defense: Bears
Special teams: Even
Coaching: Even

Damnit. That didn't help. It's not that tough to see Chicago losing back to back games. They clearly have issues, despite their 7-0 start. The Giants just took a hit with Toomer out for the year and Burress ailing. It's going to be a cold night game, and both teams can handle that. Since this all still leaves us even, and since they both have reasons to lose, I go to the tiebreaker that is never tied, unless it's the Superbowl. Homefield. Pick: New York