Standings after two weeks:
Standings.....GB
Ian 6-2.......... --
Saj 3-5.......... 3
I won't feel safe until Saj is at least 14.5 games back with three months to play. Because that kind of lead is insurmountable in sports.
Saj, good luck making up ground with these picks:
Miami Dolphins at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Minnesota Vikings at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Cleveland Browns at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Giants at Washington Redskins(Sunday, 4:15)
The "luck", friend, will need to be good for YOU. Yes. You.
St. Louis Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday, 1:00)
Cincinnati Bengals at Seattle Seahawks (Sunday, 4:05)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos (Sunday, 4:05)
Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 4:15)
Miami Dolphins at New York Jets
I know what you're thinking, Ian. But I've learned a thing or two over the offseason- namely that it's okay to pick the Jets every once in a while. Roommate, and Jets' apologist, Rob is going to the game this weekend and he was excited because "they actually might win this one." Oh, to be a Jets fan. A year ago I would have opted to pick against the Jets with blatant disregard for whomever they're playing, but Rob's defeatist attitude has turned me, slightly. Think of this more as a sympathy nod than anything. Sympathy sidenote: No sympathy for Mangini when he goes 4-12 and loses the "Man-genius" title. Wake up, New York, the Jets scored 23 more points than they allowed last year. They're no good. But Miami is worse.
Minnesota Vikings at Kansas City Chiefs
Really? Kansas City is terrible. And Minnesota has the second coming of Tony Dorsett in Adrian Peterson. By the way, how much must it suck to be a Chiefs fan? Your franchise running back holds out all of training camp, the feel good story of the last few months (Priest Holmes) fails to make his comeback, you're 0-2 in competent quarterbacks, and HBO chose to profile you in training camp just before a 1-15 season. It's like watching the two months of a junkie's life before he goes on the 17 week bender that will leave his broken, emaciated carcass propped up against a dumpster in an alley.
Cleveland Browns at Oakland Raiders
Cleveland. I have a story to tell everyone. Ever since Derek Anderson's 5 touchdown performance Ian has been consistently trying to pawn him off on my in our fantasy league. And that's just insulting. Yes, I know my quarterbacks are Brett Favre and Kyle Boller. But still, shame on you, Ian. Shame on you.
New York Giants at Washington Redskins
Why do you keep doing this to me? For some reason I think the Giants are good. Maybe it's the uniforms. They do have nice ones. It's high time I realize that they aren't good. And Washington, somehow in someway, is better. If Brett Favre and Tony Romo can pick apart the Giants defense like they did then Jason Campbell will throw for 600 yards and 12 touchdowns this week. All to Santana Moss. And I will win my fantasy game by just starting him and no one else. So it has been said, so it shall be done.
I'll jump right into the picks after I say this: I successfull traded Derek Anderson today.
St. Louis Rams @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Two lousy teams here. As I foreshadowed last week, the Rams are clearly on their way down. This is the first time they opened 0-2 since Kurt Warner's squad tried to rebound from the Superbowl loss against New England. Do you think the Rams are starting to regret giving an enormous contract to a system quarterback who has a 54% completion rate after two games in St. Louis' dome? Now they go on the road. Not that the Bucs are any good, but at least they beat a talented New Orleans team last week. Pick: Tampa Bay
Cincinatti Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks: Two talented offensive teams, and the Bengals probably have the better offense. However, the Seahawks have two things going for them. One, they're playing in one of the more advantageous home fields in football. Two, they didn't give up 51 points to the Cleveland Browns. This postgame is loaded with "The Bengals have given up 90 points in the last two weeks" potential. Pick: Seattle
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Denver Broncos: Denver is without a doubt the luckiest team in football over the first two weeks...except for the Chargers and Jets, who are lucky the Patriots didn't beat them by 35 points each. I fully expect this to be a close game. And I fully expect the Broncos to once again come out on top. Pick: Denver
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons: I'm sick of people trying to be optimistic about the Falcons. They're simply not that good, especially their offense, defense, and special teams. Stop picking them, everyone; even if they're at home. Word to the wise: wait until they win a game before picking Atlanta. Pick: Carolina
Friday, September 21, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Week 2 Picks
First, standings after one week:
Standings.....GB
Ian 3-1.......... --
Saj 2-2.......... 1
Now to take that lead wire-to-wire. Saj isn't making it easy, this week giving me three very tough games.
Houston Texans @ Carolina Panthers: I rank this as the third toughest game to pick this week, though I'm truly divided. I'm very happy for Houston to start out with a win last week to energize a near dormant franchise, but let's remember it was against one of the few teams that's worse than them (Kansas City) and it was in Houston. Now they go visit a Panthers team that's coming off a hard fought win in St. Louis' dome. Simply, the Panthers beat the better team in Week 1 and this game is in Charlotte. Pick: Carolina
San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams: This is the second toughest game to pick. For the past half decade, this would have been a no-brainer, as the Niners have been mired in mediocrity while St. Louis is playing meaningful football every December and sometimes January. Throw in the fact that the Rams are at home, and it should be a gimme. Still, these two franchises are going in opposite directions. St. Louis is fulfilling the second half of the "what goes up" idiom, while San Francisco is putting together a talented young core with a competant head coach. Furthermore, the 49ers, coming off a win against Arizona to open the season, now have the opportunity to be the clear-cut #2 team in the NFC West. That's quite a motivator. Pick: San Francisco
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions: And here's the crapshoot. I have no idea who will win this game, nor do I ever when these two teams play. Neither of them have been good this millenium. They're dome teams. They both have shaky quarterbacks, head coaches, and a terrible track record in big games. So when they play each other? It's like watching Cosmo Kramer and Rob Petry race through an obstacle course. (There's a strong chance many of you are too young to get that joke.) Anyway, time to fall back on the maxim. When in doubt, take the home team. Pick: Detroit
New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens: Annnnd easy money. Another gift from Saj. Pick: Baltimore
Those are the games you're giving me? Seriously? This could legitimately be my first 4-0 week. I am very, VERY excited.
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants
I have Brett Favre on my fantasy team and even I'm not optimistic about him against a Giants team that gave up 45 points to Tony fucking Romo. GIANTS
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals
Really? No, seriously. Did you even watch last week's Cardinals - Niners game? HAWKS
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins
No. COWBOYS
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles
Again. No. EAGLES
Standings.....GB
Ian 3-1.......... --
Saj 2-2.......... 1
Now to take that lead wire-to-wire. Saj isn't making it easy, this week giving me three very tough games.
Houston Texans @ Carolina Panthers: I rank this as the third toughest game to pick this week, though I'm truly divided. I'm very happy for Houston to start out with a win last week to energize a near dormant franchise, but let's remember it was against one of the few teams that's worse than them (Kansas City) and it was in Houston. Now they go visit a Panthers team that's coming off a hard fought win in St. Louis' dome. Simply, the Panthers beat the better team in Week 1 and this game is in Charlotte. Pick: Carolina
San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams: This is the second toughest game to pick. For the past half decade, this would have been a no-brainer, as the Niners have been mired in mediocrity while St. Louis is playing meaningful football every December and sometimes January. Throw in the fact that the Rams are at home, and it should be a gimme. Still, these two franchises are going in opposite directions. St. Louis is fulfilling the second half of the "what goes up" idiom, while San Francisco is putting together a talented young core with a competant head coach. Furthermore, the 49ers, coming off a win against Arizona to open the season, now have the opportunity to be the clear-cut #2 team in the NFC West. That's quite a motivator. Pick: San Francisco
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions: And here's the crapshoot. I have no idea who will win this game, nor do I ever when these two teams play. Neither of them have been good this millenium. They're dome teams. They both have shaky quarterbacks, head coaches, and a terrible track record in big games. So when they play each other? It's like watching Cosmo Kramer and Rob Petry race through an obstacle course. (There's a strong chance many of you are too young to get that joke.) Anyway, time to fall back on the maxim. When in doubt, take the home team. Pick: Detroit
New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens: Annnnd easy money. Another gift from Saj. Pick: Baltimore
Those are the games you're giving me? Seriously? This could legitimately be my first 4-0 week. I am very, VERY excited.
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants
I have Brett Favre on my fantasy team and even I'm not optimistic about him against a Giants team that gave up 45 points to Tony fucking Romo. GIANTS
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals
Really? No, seriously. Did you even watch last week's Cardinals - Niners game? HAWKS
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins
No. COWBOYS
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles
Again. No. EAGLES
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Football Friday: Week 2
Let's just call week one a tie.
Ian, your games:
Houston Texans at Carolina Panthers (Sunday, 1:00)
San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Jets at Baltimore Ravens (Sunday, 4:15)
Au contraire, Saj, but week 1 was a perfect representation of last year. My 3-1 to your 2-2 was just like old times. I was overwhelmed with deja vu.
Let's see if you can break the pattern:
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants (Sunday, 1:00)
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals (Sunday, 4:05)
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins (Sunday, 4:05)
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles (Monday, 8:30)
You see I returned your act of gamesmanship by not giving you the Pats game.
Ian, your games:
Houston Texans at Carolina Panthers (Sunday, 1:00)
San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (Sunday, 4:05)
New York Jets at Baltimore Ravens (Sunday, 4:15)
Au contraire, Saj, but week 1 was a perfect representation of last year. My 3-1 to your 2-2 was just like old times. I was overwhelmed with deja vu.
Let's see if you can break the pattern:
Green Bay Packers at New York Giants (Sunday, 1:00)
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals (Sunday, 4:05)
Dallas Cowboys at Miami Dolphins (Sunday, 4:05)
Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles (Monday, 8:30)
You see I returned your act of gamesmanship by not giving you the Pats game.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Football: Week 1 Recap
Saj, I'd like some of your thoughts on the NFL's opening week. Do you agree that:
The class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts, who are fungible as football's Big Three, and then a line is drawn. After that lie the Bengals (making four AFC teams in the top 4) and Seattle and then another line to complete a Top 5. Agree or disagree?
The New England Patriots have the best offense in the NFL. Agree or disagree?
The New York Jets aren't as bad as 38-14 would imply. Agree or disagree?
The New Orleans Saints will not have a down year, they just ran into a top AFC team in Week 1. Agree or disagree?
Finally, which team, previously thought of as a playoff contender if not a playoff lock, is most in danger of becoming 0-2?
On the class of the NFL: Yes the class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts (in no particular order, but really, fuck the Colts). I disagree with the Bengals as number four only because it's possible that could be the third best team in their division (yes, I know they beat the Ravens last night but that game was a dented Todd Heap shoulder pad away from going into overtime). And the Seahawks will have to show me something special to earn a top five spot in my cold heart. Watch out for: THE STEELERS.
On Patriots offense being the best: Agree, tentatively. If the offensive line looks that good all season, then yes. On some of those passing plays Tom Brady had so much time in the pocket he could have met a supermodel, impregnated her, and witnessed the birth of his second child all before releasing the ball. Maroney still does like to dance a little more than he should, but Sammy Morris is a f-ing hammer and what else can I say about the revamped receiving corps that the Randy Moss and Wes Welker tattoos on my asscheeks haven't already said?
On Jets maybe sorta not completely sucking: No, they aren't that bad. But I will tell you who is. Thomas Jones. My G-d, I haven't seen someone do the old two yards and fall over move since Jamal Anderson. Jones was literally running straight into his offensive linemen and then ricocheting to the ground. That has to be more difficult than actually avoiding them, right?
On Saints: Yes they ran into a good team, at home, playing great football. BUT, the Saints don't have the easy schedule they had a year ago. And their defense is terrible. The ten wins they had last year could easily turn into eight.
Most in danger of going 0-2: The Baltimore Ravens
The class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts, who are fungible as football's Big Three, and then a line is drawn. After that lie the Bengals (making four AFC teams in the top 4) and Seattle and then another line to complete a Top 5. Agree or disagree?
The New England Patriots have the best offense in the NFL. Agree or disagree?
The New York Jets aren't as bad as 38-14 would imply. Agree or disagree?
The New Orleans Saints will not have a down year, they just ran into a top AFC team in Week 1. Agree or disagree?
Finally, which team, previously thought of as a playoff contender if not a playoff lock, is most in danger of becoming 0-2?
On the class of the NFL: Yes the class of the NFL are the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts (in no particular order, but really, fuck the Colts). I disagree with the Bengals as number four only because it's possible that could be the third best team in their division (yes, I know they beat the Ravens last night but that game was a dented Todd Heap shoulder pad away from going into overtime). And the Seahawks will have to show me something special to earn a top five spot in my cold heart. Watch out for: THE STEELERS.
On Patriots offense being the best: Agree, tentatively. If the offensive line looks that good all season, then yes. On some of those passing plays Tom Brady had so much time in the pocket he could have met a supermodel, impregnated her, and witnessed the birth of his second child all before releasing the ball. Maroney still does like to dance a little more than he should, but Sammy Morris is a f-ing hammer and what else can I say about the revamped receiving corps that the Randy Moss and Wes Welker tattoos on my asscheeks haven't already said?
On Jets maybe sorta not completely sucking: No, they aren't that bad. But I will tell you who is. Thomas Jones. My G-d, I haven't seen someone do the old two yards and fall over move since Jamal Anderson. Jones was literally running straight into his offensive linemen and then ricocheting to the ground. That has to be more difficult than actually avoiding them, right?
On Saints: Yes they ran into a good team, at home, playing great football. BUT, the Saints don't have the easy schedule they had a year ago. And their defense is terrible. The ten wins they had last year could easily turn into eight.
Most in danger of going 0-2: The Baltimore Ravens
Friday, September 07, 2007
FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL: Week 1
Back when Ian and I decided to institute a moratorium on posting for our crappy blog, in my mind we secretly decided to resurrect Football Friday when the time came. And since the season got off to a vomit-inducing, let's-all-jerk-off-to-Peyton-Manning start last night, I'd say the time has come.
Football Friday works like this: we give each other four games and we have to pick the outright winners. Simple. Ian, as you were the victor last year give me your best four from this weekend.
Yes, Saj, I was the victor. Just out of curiosity, what does that make you? Maybe this will help: Let's take a look at the final standings last season before we goofed around for Week 17.
Standings.... GB
Ian 28-20...... -- (winner)
Saj 21-27...... 7 (?????)
I just can't think of what goes there. Any ideas? Anyway, time to defend the crown. Here are your four games this weekend:
Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Whatever, man. Whatever. For you:
Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers (Sunday, 4:15)
TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES!
I am walking out of this dome in 17 weeks. I just hope I'm still in one piece. Let's get this party started.
Denver @ Buffalo: Is anyone expecting Buffalo to be better this year? When was the last time they did something to improve their team? They drafted Losman when they had Bledsoe. They drafted McGahee when they had Travis Henry. They haven't been nearly as good since making those moves, and now Losman is a bottom tier starter and neither McGahee nor Henry are even on the roster. Tough year for the Bills coming up, especially playing in the Pats' and Jets' division. We're talking 4-5 wins. And this isn't one of them. Pick: Denver
Miami @ Washington: P.U. What's that smell? Oh, it's these two teams. I'm at a crossroads. This match up is a toss up, but it contradicts my two crossroads tendencies (1. When in doubt, go with the home team; 2. When in doubt, go with the AFC team). I gotta go Miami, if for no other reason than A) The weather is still warm, B) While these two teams break even as two poor defensive squads, the Dolphins are more talented on the offensive end, and C) Clinton Portis is on my fantasy team, and is therefore due to pull a hamstring early in the second quarter. Pick: Miami
Kansas City @ Houston: Man, that smell is REALLY getting strong now. Hey Saj, thanks for the worst game of the weekend. I say Matt Schaub and the steadily ascending Houston Texans are more excited to play football than the steadily declining Kansas City Chiefs. If the Texans win this game, it'll be the first time in franchise history that they'll be over .500. And I have no idea if that's true, as I did no research to back that up. Pick: Houston
Chicago @ San Diego: I've always counted you as a friend, Saj. You're a nice guy. This is how you prove it. An NFC team with a bad offense vs. a well rounded AFC team that has the best talent in the NFL. And oh yeah, the AFC team is hosting. Pick: San Diego
Go get 'em, pal. You're up.
Gonna be quick.
Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings
Tavaris Jackson vs. Joey Harrington. Not exactly Montana v. Elway. I'm going with the Falcons here for a number of reasons. 1) I flipped a coin. 2) Bobby Petrino sounds like the name of a race car driver. 3) Nothing heals the gaping wounds left open from the Vick saga like a W against a bunch of guys in purple who like taking cruises together.
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
Nope. Not falling for it. I'm not going to talk myself into Daunte Culpepper. No way. But Jon Kitna, sure. I know that's irrational, but whatever. GO LIONS!
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Have you seen the new iPods? They're pretty awesome.
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Should I take all road teams? Maybe. Okay, I'm doing it. Cincinnati isn't that good. They really aren't. As yes this marks the second consecutive season where I have Steve McNair on my fantasy team. Next year, I'm just going to burn the money. Save myself the time.
Football Friday works like this: we give each other four games and we have to pick the outright winners. Simple. Ian, as you were the victor last year give me your best four from this weekend.
Yes, Saj, I was the victor. Just out of curiosity, what does that make you? Maybe this will help: Let's take a look at the final standings last season before we goofed around for Week 17.
Standings.... GB
Ian 28-20...... -- (winner)
Saj 21-27...... 7 (?????)
I just can't think of what goes there. Any ideas? Anyway, time to defend the crown. Here are your four games this weekend:
Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Whatever, man. Whatever. For you:
Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Miami Dolphins at Washington Redskins (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Chicago Bears at San Diego Chargers (Sunday, 4:15)
TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES!
I am walking out of this dome in 17 weeks. I just hope I'm still in one piece. Let's get this party started.
Denver @ Buffalo: Is anyone expecting Buffalo to be better this year? When was the last time they did something to improve their team? They drafted Losman when they had Bledsoe. They drafted McGahee when they had Travis Henry. They haven't been nearly as good since making those moves, and now Losman is a bottom tier starter and neither McGahee nor Henry are even on the roster. Tough year for the Bills coming up, especially playing in the Pats' and Jets' division. We're talking 4-5 wins. And this isn't one of them. Pick: Denver
Miami @ Washington: P.U. What's that smell? Oh, it's these two teams. I'm at a crossroads. This match up is a toss up, but it contradicts my two crossroads tendencies (1. When in doubt, go with the home team; 2. When in doubt, go with the AFC team). I gotta go Miami, if for no other reason than A) The weather is still warm, B) While these two teams break even as two poor defensive squads, the Dolphins are more talented on the offensive end, and C) Clinton Portis is on my fantasy team, and is therefore due to pull a hamstring early in the second quarter. Pick: Miami
Kansas City @ Houston: Man, that smell is REALLY getting strong now. Hey Saj, thanks for the worst game of the weekend. I say Matt Schaub and the steadily ascending Houston Texans are more excited to play football than the steadily declining Kansas City Chiefs. If the Texans win this game, it'll be the first time in franchise history that they'll be over .500. And I have no idea if that's true, as I did no research to back that up. Pick: Houston
Chicago @ San Diego: I've always counted you as a friend, Saj. You're a nice guy. This is how you prove it. An NFC team with a bad offense vs. a well rounded AFC team that has the best talent in the NFL. And oh yeah, the AFC team is hosting. Pick: San Diego
Go get 'em, pal. You're up.
Gonna be quick.
Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings
Tavaris Jackson vs. Joey Harrington. Not exactly Montana v. Elway. I'm going with the Falcons here for a number of reasons. 1) I flipped a coin. 2) Bobby Petrino sounds like the name of a race car driver. 3) Nothing heals the gaping wounds left open from the Vick saga like a W against a bunch of guys in purple who like taking cruises together.
Detroit Lions at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)
Nope. Not falling for it. I'm not going to talk myself into Daunte Culpepper. No way. But Jon Kitna, sure. I know that's irrational, but whatever. GO LIONS!
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday, 8:15)
Have you seen the new iPods? They're pretty awesome.
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinatti Bengals (Monday. 7:00)
Should I take all road teams? Maybe. Okay, I'm doing it. Cincinnati isn't that good. They really aren't. As yes this marks the second consecutive season where I have Steve McNair on my fantasy team. Next year, I'm just going to burn the money. Save myself the time.
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