Football Friday: Week 10

Through nine weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 22-14.......... -- ..............4-0
Saj 19-17............ 3 ..............3-1

Same shit, different toilet. I'll catch you, you son of a bitch. Your games:

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants (Sunday, 4:15pm)
Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers (Sunday, 1:00pm)
Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday, 1:00pm)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tennessee Titans (Sunday, 1:00pm)

Football Friday: Week 9

Through eight weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 18-14.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 16-16........... 2 .............3-1


You shaved another game. And your beard. Is there nothing I do better than you anymore?

Your games for the week:

Cincinatti Bengals at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at New Orleans Saints (Sunday, 1:00)
San Francisco 49ers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 1:00)
Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)


Wait a second. Are you saying that your beard is better than mine? Is that what you're saying? Because from what you wrote, I think that's what you're saying. You know, I wasn't going to do this, but...

New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts (Sunday, 4:15)

Sit on that. And these:

Green Bay Packers at Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday, 1:00)
Carolina Panthers at Tennessee Titans (Sunday, 1:00)
Denver Broncos at Detroit Lions (Sunday, 1:00)


Did you try and get back at me by giving me one of the easiest games of the week? You work in mysterious ways... just like your fictional God. Yeah, I went there. This blog is crazy!

Green Bay @ Kansas City: Both of these teams are overachievers... but one is overachieving more. Pick: Green Bay

Carolina @ Tennessee: NFL picking 101: The NFC team with the inferior record and talent goes on the road. Pick: Tennessee

Denver @ Detroit: It's very disconcerting to have the Broncos as a bad team. For what seems like twenty years, they've been contenders. Admittedly, I was slow this year to discount them from the batch of contenders and I have picked them too many times. I am not making that mistake again. Week 9 has arrived, and Denver is a bad football team. On a side note, hats off to the Detroit Lions for overachieving to this point. That's a team I don't mind seeing success strike. Pick: Detroit

New England @ Indianapolis: I can't write rationally about this game. It's the biggest regular season NFL game I can remember and my favorite team is involved. I cannot be objective. So, with that caveat: The Pats are ridiculously great. Since Week 1 I've been calling an undefeated season. So how, then, could I pick the Colts this weekend? I cannot. Nor do I wish to. Nor should I. Nor should anyone. Pick: PATS!!!!

Cincinatti Bengals at Buffalo Bills (Sunday, 1:00)

True story, Marshawn Lynch loves eating at Applebee's. You have to admire a man whose willing to admit that. BILLS

Jacksonville Jaguars at New Orleans Saints (Sunday, 1:00)

JAGUARS


San Francisco 49ers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday, 1:00)

FALCONS

Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:15)

TEXANS

Football Friday: Week 8

Through seven weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 16-12.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 13-15........... 3 .............2-2

Still within striking distance...

Your games:

Browns at Rams (Sunday, 1:00)
Lions at Bears (Sunday, 1:00)
Eagles at Vikings (Sunday, 1:00)
Packers at Broncos (Monday, 8:30)


If by "within striking distance," you meant "false hope," then you'd be correct.

Yours:

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (Sunday, 1:00)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday, 1:00)
New York Giants at London Dolphins (Sunday, 6:00 GMT)
New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers (Sunday, 4:15)


Buffalo Bills at New York Jets

I just don't think I can convince myself to take Chad Penningt0n on the road. Or at home. Even against the Bills. Whatever happens in this game it won't change the fact that 'Mangenius' is getting trashed in the locker room. In general I wish Mangini only success. But not as long as he's the Jets coach. I want to see him mangle the season, lose his job, get hired by the Falcons, and lead them to a 2009 Superbowl win over Herm Edwards' Kansas City Chiefs. If that happens, Jets' fan and roommate Rob would commit suicide. Between the Jets continued decline into suckitude and the pitching-poor Mets having to choose between signing Kyle Lohse and Carlos Silva this offseason I think the borough of Queens is going to implode. By the way, even money says Joel Pineiro or Jeff Weaver is starting the Mets' third game of the season. BILLS

Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I never thought I'd say this, but the injury and subsequent loss of David Garrard will be the difference in a professional football game. Weird, right? And as if we needed anymore evidence of how much every non-Patriots, non-Colts team in the NFL sucks the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who were 4-12 last year, will win the NFC South with Earnest Graham as their starting tailback. Even weirder. BUCCANEERS

New York Giants at London Dolphins

Really? What can I really say about a game where Cleo Lemon has to face the best pass-rush in football? I mean, I could speculate on when exactly Osi Umenyiora (sp?) and Antonio Pierce snap Lemon's neck like a chicken bone but I'm not one for speculating. Some points: 1) Nice touch with the Greenwich Mean Time. And 2) Did you hear about the giant statue of Jason Taylor in Trafalgar Square? The ghost of Horatio Nelson must be really, really pissed off. I think the Giants will win this game handily, but the real winner is the people of London. I mean, even a 26-foot tall animatronic Jason Taylor must be damn cute. GIANTS

New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers

If Drew Brees doesn't throw the ball to Marques Colston I will be very upset. And you won't like when I'm upset. SAINTS


Cleveland @ St. Louis: The Rams and Dolphins are racing to the #1 pick, though since I don't follow amateur sports too closely, I don't know who that's going to be. The possible returns of Stephen Jackson and Marc Bulger could ruin top-pick potential for St. Louis. I'm not sure homefield will mean much for the rest of the year for the Rams, and at some point, when the fans are openly rooting against them, homefield could have a negative impact. The Browns are not that good... but they're better than the worst. Pick: Cleveland

Detroit @ Chicago: Pass-based dome team in a cold, windy city. Hmmmm... Pick: Chicago

Philadelphia @ Minnesota: I'm starting to realize you gave me the most boring games possible. Yikes. What does someone say about Eagles-Vikings? They are too utterly mediocre teams with no upside or downside. They're locks to be betweeen 6 and 8 wins. So I'll take the home team. Pick: Minnesota

Green Bay @ Denver: This Monday Night Football game will be on at the same time as a potential Game 5 of the World Series. It's going to be a sad, sad Tuesday morning in Colorado. Pick: Green Bay

Football Friday: Week 7

Through six weeks:

Standings.....GB....Last week's record
Ian 14-10.......... -- ..............2-2
Saj 11-13........... 3 .............2-2

Man, last week was such a terrible week for me. Nice week for you, though.

Your games:

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans (Sunday, 1:00)
Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders (Sunday, 4:05)
Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday, 4:15)
Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars (Monday, 8:30)

Yes. Terrible, terrible week for Jimmy the Greek over there. I'm coming back up in this shit like J-Lo.

Yours:

New York Jets at Cincinnati Bengals
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions
Baltimore Ravens at Buffalo Bills
Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys


New York Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals: Is it safe to say that these were the two most overrated teams in football coming into the season? I think it's safe to say that. Many picked these teams to go to the playoffs. A majority of prognosticators picked them to finish second in their respective divisions. Their head coaches were lauded for their success reshaping the franchises. But now? No playoffs for either team. They're in the bottom two of their divisions. Thought, to be fair, the Jets, at 1-5, are only a half game back of second place. (Can I mention something else here? Is anyone paying attention to the AFC East Standings? The Patriots, after six weeks, have five more wins than the second place team. Doesn't this have to be a record after six weeks? I mean, the Pats could clinch their division by Week TEN, which also has to be some kind of record. Why is no one talking about this?) And, of course, these coaches are heavily criticized, from Eric Mangini's bungling of CameraGate which has made the entire league hate him, to Marvin Lewis apparently forgetting he's a defensive-minded head coach. Not a good job by these two one-win teams and coaches. I guess I'll go with the home team on this one. Pick: Cincinnati

Tampa Bay @ Detroit: This is a pretty important game for this early in the season. The Bucs, at 4-2, sit tied with Carolina atop the NFC South. The Lions, at 3-2, might be contenders, but are on the precipice of devolving back into the pack of also-rans. Which will happen? The latter. In fact, it's already begun. Detroit is 1-2 in its last three games. Pick: Tampa Bay

Baltimore @ Buffalo: I am of the sort that thinks Baltimore is not terribly good. They are not a championship contender. Their vaunted defense is a shell of its former dominant self that became so popular in the early part of this decade/century/millennium. But this is the Buffalo Bills. At least Baltimore can do a little something something on both sides of the football. Pick: Baltimore

Minnesota @ Dallas: The Cowboys' shellacking at the hand of the New England Patriots were the best thing that could have happened to the guys from the Big D. Without a match up against a quality team early in the season, Dallas would have coasted through the season with undefeated big heads who would have no idea the kind of talent it takes to win the whole thing. The Pats' slap in their face, however, brought them back to reality. Now they know, and I expect them to become a better team because of what happened last Sunday, and they'll make a run to the NFC Championship game. Pick: Dallas

Picking Dallas? After Adrian Peterson pulled a Walter Payton on the Bears last week? Interesting...

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans

Vince Young should be starting despite a strained right quadricep (cue WebMD graphic... now) and that's bad news for the Texans. They love Vince Young in Texas. LOVE. A Houston native who won the Longhorns the national title over a higher ranked USC team, that legacy just doesn't disappear. Poor Texans. Not only are they second-fiddle to the Cowboys as professional franchise but they might be seventh or eighth fiddle to the glut of storied college and high school football programs in Texas. Anyway, long story short, purely for marketing reasons they should have drafted Young (or at least Bush) but they didn't. Also, the Titans gave up the most rushing yards per game last year and the Texans rank 29th in rushing yards per game so far this season. Something... has got... to give..... TITANS

WebMD sidenote: Thank God for the WebMD graphics. Last night, Fox showed me a perfectly healthy WebMD graphic guy for the purpose of telling me that Josh Beckett was not injured in any way shape or form. As my friend Jeff said to Chris Myers once at Fenway: "Hey Chris, Fox is ruining baseball"


Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders

You know what's funny about this game? If the Chiefs win, and with the San Diego bye week, they will be in sole possession of first place in the AFC West. I mean, wow. And if the Raiders win they will scare first place with the Chargers. I mean, wow wow. I'm glad I'm a Patriots fan. Speaking of Patriots, if I were to buy a Patriots jersey, which one do I buy? I was dead set on Maroney before the season but now I don't know. Ben Watson? Richard Seymour? Randy Moss?!?!? Maybe I should just go with the retro mid-90's Ben Coates or the even more retro mid-80's Irving Fryar. Or just get a custom number 12 jersey with "Model Fucker" on the back. I just don't know. RAIDERS


Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles at home? I'll take it! Sidenote: Brian Westbrook is fast. Faster than Adrian Peterson. I have no idea if that's true. EAGLES

Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars

You had to do this to me. I'm picking the Colts here, and for only one reason: When the Patriots play the Colts in week 9 I want both teams to be undefeated. And I want the Colts to lose by 106 points. Bill Belichick will make sure that happens. He will treat Week 9's game as the biggest game of his coaching career after last year's playoff loss. COLTS

Why Josh Beckett Must Start Game 4

If you don't know where you come down on the Beckett or Wakefield argument for tonight's Game 4, just consider this hypothetical scenario: If tonight's Game 4 were rained out, would Josh Beckett pitch tomorrow's game 4 on normal rest?

The answer is unequivocally yes.

And that's why Josh Beckett is the no brainer for tonight.

Is anyone questioning Beckett's effectiveness if he pitches tonight? He's 2-0 in his playoff career on three days rest. He threw one of the great World Series games on three days rest. He's completely in the zone. Sending him against Paul Byrd is the closest thing the Red Sox have to a sure thing in this series.

That is, except, Josh Beckett vs. Jake Westbrook in a potential Game 7.

And that's the crux of the issue, and neither of the WEEI guys acknowledged it in the debate this morning. The Red Sox have the potential to send Josh Beckett, head and shoulders their best pitcher, out to the mound three times this series, including a Game 7 where he'd be on FULL rest, thanks to scheduled offdays after Games 4 and 5.

I understand that the Red Sox don't want to push up Schilling and DiceK into games 5 and 6. I understand they want to give them longer than normal rest. Fine. Throw Wakefield in Game five instead of four. That's right, I'm saying let's go Beckett-Wakefield instead of Wakefield-Beckett.

The difference? Game 7.

Down two games to one means the Sox have to win three out of the next four. If Wakefield, on 18 days rest and a sore back and a cortizone shot and a terrible September, puts the Sox in a 3-1 series hole after tonight, then Boston needs to win three in a row, and that includes a DiceK Game 7 start. That's a tall order against a good Cleveland Indians club.

Finally, to really drive home the point, let's look a the four possible scenarios after tonight.

1. Wakefield starts, Red Sox lose, falling down 3 games to 1. Read the above paragraph.
2. Wakefield starts, Red Sox win, tying the series 2-2. The Red Sox still have to win two out of three, with two games coming against Sabathia and Carmona, and the last being another Matsuzaka start.
3. Beckett starts, Red Sox win, tying the series 2-2. The Red Sox have to win two out of the next three, but if they can win either Game 5 or 6, then they have Beckett on full rest against Westbrook in Fenway for Game 7. This is the most likely scenario.
4. Beckett starts, Red Sox lose, falling down 3 games to 1. Is there any possibility Beckett loses to Paul Byrd? I mean, at all?

Josh Beckett must start Game 4.